World Series Game Seven Game Thread: Giants at Royals, 10/29/14

For a World Series going all the way to seven games, this has been a Royal Snoozefest. I mean, A Giant Bore!

hee-yuk!

Yeah.

Our old blogmaster put it best this afternoon:

If 1950 World Series was the most "competitive" sweep ever, will this year's be the most uncompetitive 7 gamer?

— BOOS Moscow (@LOLPhillies) October 29, 2014

Then, of course, there's lazy me:

Where does this year's WS avg margin of victory (5.67 R/G) rank historically? Gotta be top 5, top 3?

— Wet Luzinski (@Wet_Luzinski) October 29, 2014

To which I got this reply:

@Wet_Luzinski @LOLPhillies Through 5 this was already the most disparate since at least 2000, didn't go back further

— Maul Boo-yé (@paul_boye) October 29, 2014

I thought this might be interesting, until of course I had to discount the 1915 Red Sox and get it right about the Royals, who last appeared in the World Series in 1985. I remember missing that one for the most part, as I didn't have a TV in my dorm room, and, for that matter, didn't really care. Still, I liked the invented narrative of the Phillies being a kind of World Series kiss of death, records be damned.

Until the Royals returned in '14, the last appearance each of the #Phillies ' last 4 World Series opponents made was against the Phillies.

— Wet Luzinski (@Wet_Luzinski) October 29, 2014

So there it is, then: This is the most exciting World Series where most people didn't really give a damn, maybe even since, well, 2008, if you're thinking from a national perspective. If you want to do your own research, fill the comments below. I've got to strap on my wide-brimmed homework plantation overseer cap, get up on my hoss, and ride some young scholars off to bed while making fun of Harold Reynolds on Twitter with all of the other snarky cool kids. (Man, he's like Joe Morgan re-incarnated. And Joe Morgan's not dead yet, to my knowledge, so that's kind of impressive.)

World Series ratings through five games down from 2013 http://t.co/GFxhjr5EYL

— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) October 28, 2014

I mean, for all the hype of a Game 7, we get Jeremy Guthrie versus Tim Hudson. Fortunately for all involved (assuming those of us watching at home aren't obscured by commercials), Madison Bumgarner will ride in from the bullpen at Kauffman Stadium on a magic carpet pulled by a team of beautiful unicorns singing "God Bless America."

Baseball will be saved, and I will conquer Laundror, the Monstrous Heap of Unfolded Laundry.

Now, go spray yourself with champagne and get riproaringly drunk. Because tomorrow, the saddest day of the calendar, marks the beginning of endless debate over the relative merits and demerits of free agents who will suck at the teats of our collective psyches whilst we await inevitable (or current, if you live in Alaska) gathering snow clouds.

Damn it, 2014. Just damn it. Here's to the 2015 in which we'll get 'em, and maybe the two years after that, when the Phillies will play once again in the Forbidden Zone of Playoff Baseball.