Sure, just trade Chase Utley, too, who cares

UPDATE: Things are not happening.

"@kengurnick: Dodgers are acquiring Howie Kendrick from Angels, according to baseball source." Forget about Utley to LA.

— Todd Zolecki (@ToddZolecki) December 11, 2014

Pull your heads off your desks, Philadelphia. Yes, Jimmy Rollins seems to be on his way out, but now is the time for celebration! The Phillies are rebuilding, giving those young fellows imprisoned below the floorboards of the minor leagues a chance to break free after the cruel tyranny of Jimmy Rollins.

This is good. This is all very good, and we need to understand that the

In course of Rollins conversations, Dodgers and Phillies also discussed Chase Utley, according to source. Now Dodgers have traded their 2B.

— Tim Brown (@TBrownYahoo) December 11, 2014

[bites lip until it bleeds]

Look g

[realizes several hours have passed]

Look guys, this is how you rebuild a team. You obliterate the parts that everyone has gotten to know and grown emotionally/completely dependent on their existence. Sure, they'll still exist. But if a muscular gentleman with a chiseled jaw mans second base and no one is there to watch him for six out of nine innings, did he even do it?

I mean what would be so bad about seeing the Phillies infield transferred 3,000 miles to the left and put into hideous blue uniforms that everyone hates and are dumb. The Dodgers don't even know how to pull off a trade that doesn't take six hours.

No, yes, this would be fine. The Phillies and Dodgers talked about a Chase Utley deal and then the Dodgers traded their second baseman to Miami, that doesn't mean anything. Who knows what amazing package Ruben Amaro could set up for Utley? It could have prospects in it! Prospects!

So put out that low grade shirsey fire you started in your closet. They'll always be your Phillies. They'll just play for another team for a little while, and then they'll retire and come back and never speak about how they were forced to play for the Dodgers.

Can't wait to have this conversation... Me: "son, you were named after Chase Utley!" Son: "You mean that guy from the Dodgers?"

— P Adair (@DroppedStrike3) December 11, 2014

"Son, have I ever told you that you're not actually a part of this family? Yeah, you just kind of wandered in here and I hate you."

Who knows what atrocious things we'll have to say to our hypothetical children. Let's just sit back and silently clench the couch cushions until this is all over, and then be happy that the J.P. Crawford Era is almost here and all it's going to take is a little bit of the Freddy Galvis/Cesar Hernandez/Darin Ruf/Ryan Howard Era.