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Help Us Come Up With A Nickname For Matt Stairs

With the departure of "Wheels" and "Sarge," the broadcast booth is suddenly lacking in nicknames for their broadcasters.

By John Stolnis
Matt and Jamie need nicknames, guys.
Matt and Jamie need nicknames, guys.

Gone are Harry "The K," "Whitey," "Sarge," and "Wheels." In their place are Matt Stairs, Jamie Moyer, Mike Schmidt and Tom McCarthy.

Only McCarthy has a nickname of note among the TV crew, and good 'ol "T-Mac," obviously can't be the only one in there with a viable monicker. The tradition that started with "Whitey" and has temporarily stalled with the departure of "Wheels/Sarge" MUST be continued at all costs.

We WILL find a nickname for Stairs and Moyer. I mean, what are we going to call them? Matt? Jamie?

What are we, Quakers?

First up, Matt Stairs. And folks, he needs our help.

Now, I could not be more excited to do this. My new best friend, Matt Stairs (perhaps I'm reading a bit too much into our relationship at this early stage but I'm going for it) has personally given me the green light to go ahead and launch a "contest" to officially give our NLCS hero a broadcast booth nickname.

*EDITOR'S NOTE... No prizes will be awarded for this "contest," which is why it was put inside quotation marks.

So, you can participate in this new endeavor by posting your ideas for a nickname for Matt Stairs in the comments section below, or by going on Twitter and giving your idea for a nickname to me @felskefiles and @mstairs12. Use the hashtag #StairsNickname.

Before we launch this new project, a couple quick notes/thoughts...

First, let's remember that this is a nickname that we'd like for them to use on the broadcast. So, any names revolving around one of Matt's more infamous quotes after Game 4 of the 2008 NLCS would probably make the blue hairs in North Philly go ape and would therefore be unusable.

Second, Matt Stairs is Canadian. He also likes beer. So, use that.

Third, just adding a "-y" on the end of a person's name does not make it a real nickname. So, Stairs-y isn't going to cut it this time, people.

Anyway, with all that said, go forth and be creative. Because Matt Stairs and I need your help. Don't let me down. I'd really like to become Matt's new best friend after this.

Or, maybe he'll start following me on Twitter.

Yeah, let's take this in baby steps, I guess.

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