I Could Have Been Doing Anything Else: Reds 3 Phillies 0

Sometimes there's no way to say it in a cute or funny way. For those of us who watched all of yet another game in which the Phillies were shut out, this time by the Reds on Friday night 3-0, we wasted three hours of our lives.

Sure, there are worse things in life a person can do than watch a bad baseball game. I mean, Bangladeshi ship breakers have it harder, that's for sure. That being said, watching the Phils' futility against Alfredo Simon was pretty awful.

Of course, beating the Reds is no easy task with top sluggers like Jay Bruce and former MVP Joey Votto going against you… oh… wait a minute… both those guys were injured and didn't play. That's discouraging.

Honestly, Phils' starter Kyle Kendrick did what most teams want out of their #4 starter. He kept them in the game. Of course, you'd prefer he didn't give up a three-run homer in the first inning to Devin Mesoraco, putting his team in a very early and dispiriting 3-0 hole before the offense ever touched the lumber.

After that, though, he was brilliant, giving up just those three runs on four hits with five strikeouts and one walk in seven innings. At one point he retired 15 Cincinnati hitters in a row and 18 of his final 20. He was so brilliant at one point, people started saying some crazy things.

The Phillies are so starved for starting pitching that I find it hard to believe they'll let Kyle Kendrick be a free agent

— Paul Boyé (@paul_boye) May 16, 2014

Of course, that's probably not wrong.

Unfortunately for Kyle, the offense contined their descent into deep hibernation once again. They were shut out for the second game in a row, at home, and they've been particularly stingy with the runs for Kendrick, even dating back to last year.

Phils have scored 1 run or less for Kyle Kendrick in 8 of his last 15 starts

— John Clark CSN (@JClarkCSN) May 17, 2014

They've been so stingy that Kendrick has now gone those 15 straight starts without a win, and he's lost a career high nine in a row.

The offense now has not scored since Tuesday, 20 innings ago. They have not hit a home run since last Saturday against the Mets (a Jimmy Rollins solo shot). They have hit six home runs in the month of May, whereas the Blue Jays hit 11 against them in their four-game sweep of the Phils alone. And their approach has gone downhill a bit too...

Down, 3-0, in ninth, #Phillies leadoff hitter hacks at first pitch, breaks bat, out. Unreal.

— Jack McCaffery (@JackMcCaffery) May 17, 2014

With the loss, the team's third straight, they fell to 6-12 at home in 2014. Here are some other horrible things...

Phillies drop to 17-22, their worst start since 2005. Averaging 2.89 runs per game at home this season, worst in majors.

— Todd Zolecki (@ToddZolecki) May 17, 2014

Tonight they managed just six hits off Alfredo Simon, Manny Parra and Aroldis Chapman; three from Cody Asche, two from Chase Utley and one from Carlos Ruiz. Only one of them was an extra-base hit, a seventh inning double from Asche.

You know what? Why waste any more of your time breaking down this thing? Here's the graph that tells you the Phillies never had a prayer of winning this game at any point during the evening.

Wonderful.

Source: FanGraphs

Oh, and one more thing...

Look at the bright side: There's only 123 more games to play

— Kevin Cooney (@KevinCooney) May 17, 2014

Goodnight, everybody!