Chase Utley is the coolest, say voters

Maybe's it's his expressionless terrorizing of NL pitching. Maybe it's how he refers to baseball as "the killing season." Maybe it's all the #ChaseChats. Whatever the reason - it's probably the terror - Chase Utley is your current NL leader in All-Star votes for a second baseman.

And it's not even close.

• Utley: 509,390
• Dee Gordon: 304,258
• Other losers: even lower numbers

Ryne Sandberg is powering his second baseman with a steady stream of measured cliches - "He grinds out," "He makes adjustments," "He's totally prepared every day," "He just does his homework," "He's ready to play."

All that gibberish translates into solid numbers like these: .335/.389/.548, a league leading 22 doubles, three triples, four home runs, and 2.2 WAR. And he hasn't even switched on his bio mechanical knee-jets yet. Plus, he's only been hit by five baseballs this year. Atta boy, Chase!

In fact, the National League has completely failed to contain his success. Utley leads all of baseball's second basemen in BA, OBP, SLG, and extra-base hits.

There's nothing like the pride you feel for a player from your team who deserves to be there, not some sort of Yankee crammed in there because it's his last season in the bigs and everyone wants to take a turn telling him how objectively magnificent he is.

Here's where you can jam the virtual box with virtual votes while guffawing and slobbering with joy. Now let's celebrate this while Chase menaces a fan via the internet. Take it away, Chase!

Make me change it, I dare you. RT @savantknowsall if someone made you change your walk up song what would you change it to? #chasechat

— Phillies (@Phillies) May 23, 2014

Ha ha, that's some All-Star menacing.