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Game 127 Open Thread: Mariners at Phillies

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After today's game, we have over 50 hours of no Phillies baseball. I'm just putting that out there.

BOTH OF YOU ARE FIRED. BECAUSE I SAID SO.
BOTH OF YOU ARE FIRED. BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

After last night's painful/painfully boring baseball game, let's just get right into today's lineup for the last game against the Seattle Mariners.

Today's Lineups

SEATTLE MARINERS PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
Austin Jackson - CF Ben Revere - CF
Chris Taylor - SS Jimmy Rollins - SS
Robinson Cano - 2B Chase Utley - 2B
Kendrys Morales - 1B Ryan Howard - 1B
Kyle Seager - 3B Marlon Byrd - RF
Chris Denorfia - LF Darin Ruf - LF
Logan Morrison - RF Wil Nieves - C
Jesus Sucre - C Andres Blanco - 3B
James Paxton - LHP Cole Hamels - LHP

What is Ryne Sandberg even doing? Are the first four or five spots in the batting order glued onto the bulletin board or mini-fridge that Sandberg uses for his lineup? Is there a reason Ryan Howard is still in the lineup every day, batting fourth, playing first base? At least Darin Ruf is playing today, but he's in left field so that means Dom "Sad Trombone" Brown and Grady Sizemore have to sit. There is a way for him to play everyone he wants to play, but he has to be willing to TAKE RYAN HOWARD OUT OF THE LINEUP, MY GOD.

GET BETTER AT YOUR JOB, RYNE SANDBERG. I'M BEGGING YOU.

OH LORD RYNE SANDBERG HAS MADE ME SO ANGRY. JUST DISCUSS THE GAME IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. I'LL BE OVER HERE TRYING TO PREVENT MY HEAD FROM EXPLODING.