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The Phillies are somehow still in San Diego, which seems impossible. Then again, they're also still playing baseball despite the fact that this season has lasted a a million decades and I'm now 80 years old because the Phillies have stolen not just my youth but my adulthood and now I'm ALONE OH GOD PHILLIES WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME.
Um. Here's tonight's lineup. I need, uh, just a minute or two.
ALERT ALERT ALERT RYAN HOWARD IS NOT PLAYING, ALERT ALERT ALERT THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Howard's sitting tonight in favor of Darin Ruf, and Cody Asche's riding the bench so Maikel Franco can get another start. More Maikel Franco! More, I say!
PS I love you Cole Hamels.
Discuss the game in the comments below.