You know that game "would you rather?" Chances are you do, but if not, it's a game that basically forces you to choose between two things that are pretty unpalatable. Sometimes those things are reprehensible. And sometimes they're downright gross or gruesome.
They even made a horror movie based on the concept a few years ago. I won't link it because horror movies are trash and should be eliminated from our society like the plague they are, but when I saw a couple news items hit the "wire" over the last few days, the "would you rather?" game came leaping to mind.
As I wrote about on Tuesday, former Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro is putting his name out there for one of the four open managerial jobs in baseball.
That's right, Ruben wants to be a manager, and he's apparently doing everything he can to try to make that happen. However, he apparently has some legitimate competition from another long-time member of the Phils.
Larry Bowa has a second interview for Marlins manager job tomorrow, according to an industry source.— Jim Salisbury (@JSalisburyCSN) October 14, 2015
That sensation you're feeling right now are your eyes burning through the back of your head.
That's right, it sure seems as though Larry Bowa, the man who went 81-127 in two seasons with the San Diego Padres (1987-88) and 337-308 in four seasons with the Phillies (2001-04) may be close to landing a job as manager of the Miami Marlins.
Bowa has not managed a Major League team in 11 years. He is 69 years old. His career record is 418-435 (.490). He has never made the playoffs and never won more than 86 games. He also does this a whole lot.
Of course, Ruben Amaro has never managed anything at all, other than a payroll. Still, as I mentioned in my piece, it's not crazy to think that Amaro could do the job if given the opportunity.
Like Bowa, he is a former Major League player, spending eight seasons in uniform. And he is obviously fluent in Spanish, which would help him relate to players from Latin America. However, unlike Bowa, he's never managed anywhere, at any level.
It's a classic "would you rather?" set-up, folks.
So, I took to Twitter and asked, "If you were forced to choose one, would you rather have Ruben Amaro or Larry Bowa as your team's next manager? Here's what I got, first from the fine folks at The Good Phight, the very blog you're reading right now.
@FelskeFiles I'm a Bowa man. Eat nails for breakfast. Maybe some screws. Gnaw on some drywall. Cough up blood. Go manage my team, get the W.— Justin Klugh (@justin_klugh) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles I don't want my players screeched at by a potato-faced howler monkey wearing a baseball uniform, so I'm going with Amaro.— Liz Roscher (@lizroscher) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles Amaro may be full of hubris but he's not a loon. [DEAR MARLINS EXECS: I'M TOTALLY KIDDING ABOUT BOWA PLEASE HIRE HIM THANK YOU]— Liz Roscher (@lizroscher) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles I pick Amaro, easily. He's a smart guy, not a blithering idiot, and is unproven; whereas Bowa is very vigorously proven.— Pope Denali-Utley (@Phrozen_) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles Rube is the natural choice because he's already reached his maximum level of incompetence.— LE PETIT-BOULGEOISIE (@dj_mosfett) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles Ruben. I know Bowa sucks and is a hotheaded fool. I don't know any of that about RAJ as manager. Plus fluency in Spanish— Phils Expat Follower (@Eric_Lindros) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles Ruben 100%. You know Bowa is going to be a disaster. Ruben has at least a chance of success. IMO, a relatively decent chance.— Eric Chesterton (@CF_Larue) October 14, 2015
That's 4-2 in favor of Amaro by the fine folks here at The Good Phight who were able to participate in this non-scientific study.
And the rest of you wanted to play my sadistic little game too, I guess?
@FelskeFiles Amaro without a second or first-and-a-half thought— big dodgers fan (@Phylan) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles although honestly he seems like a world class prick too. But at least we already KNOW that Bowa is— big dodgers fan (@Phylan) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles Amaro. New manager is cheaper, easier to fire if necessary.— Patrick Abdalla (@CVSouthpaw) October 14, 2015
Bowa. His ump argument meltdowns are the sstuff of legend https://t.co/K3Wk1AVRR6— Luigi de Guzman (@ouij) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles Larry— Jayson Werth's Beard (@JWerthsBeard) October 14, 2015
@FelskeFiles LOL I'll take Larry.— TERI (@terilyns68) October 14, 2015
And poor Ms. Mambo.
I can’t move my left arm and I’m drooling. Send help. https://t.co/kq2njDhFus— MsMambo (@Ms_Mambo) October 14, 2015
So, it seems as though Amaro would be the choice of most, although it wasn't exactly a landslide. And to be fair, during Bowa's tenure in Philadelphia, the team was somewhat competitive as they tried to mix in young talent with continued penny-pinching.
Now, what say you? Play along by voting in our online poll. The winner gets to manage the Marlins, which is its own special hell.