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Phillies prospect power rankings in the Arizona Fall League

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Somebody's got to rank these kids.

Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

I was just thinking, maybe the time that sports writers turn from fans into analysts is when the athletes start being so much younger than they are. These Phillies prospects are now having birthdays in the early '90s. Since the passage of time frightens me, there's probably no healthier thing to do than lash out at those with more time left.

Traditionally, those type of players - young, promising, full of life - are sent to the Arizona Fall League to hone their skills for a couple weeks. And what do young players need more than anything? To be pitted against each other by a dingus with a spit-covered monitor, several thousand miles away.

Here we go!

No. 1 - Andrew Knapp, C

3-for-14, 2 2B, 5 RBI, 3 BB, 3 SO

With a pair of extra-base hits and a trio of walks, Knapp leads the pack. In fact, he's in a five-way tie for fourth place on the Glendale Desert Dogs team lead in doubles! No, but he is touching bases more than any other Phillies prospect hitter, and only the insane Kyle Farmer has more RBI (7) on the team. And look at him chat up the media.

That's right. He knows who is friends are.

No. 2 - Aaron Brown, OF

4-for-11, 1 2B, 3 SO

A combination of past Phillies prospects mushed together in a lab, Brown is hopefully the best of both Aaron Altherr (Inside-the-park grand slam ceiling extremely high) and Domonic Brown (Team likely to keep around for extended period of time-rating optimal).

Brown, who replaced Dylan Cozens in the Phillies' AFL squad, hasn't played since October 23, a day he started in right field and went 1-for-3. Eleven at-bats is a small sample size, but Brown has made the most of them. He'd be higher up on this list, but Knapp has been able to draw the walks that Brown hasn't. We still like walks, right? They're cool? I just want you guys to like me.

No. 3 - Edubray Ramos, RHP

4.0 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 0 BB, 3 SO

Damn, Edubray, you've got the smoothest name of the Phillies' AFL squad, and you don't allow walks in four different relief appearances? The Phillies could find a use for a man who despises free passes as much as yourself.

No. 4 - Tom Windle, LHP

4.0 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 3 SO

The pride of the Minnesota Golden Gophers has shown up in four relief appearances, throwing an inning each time, and getting the three outs that were asked of him with minimal trouble; trouble that wouldn't have been as bad if his defense would get Jurickson Profar out. Looking at you, Chan Jong Moon. No, you're fine. The important thing is to have fun. And also impress people. Which throwing errors do not do. Sorry; sorry. It's cool.

In Windle's first appearance, he allowed a single and a double, but managed to strike his way out of the inning with both a forward and a backwards K. That's the sort of thing that makes a scout's mustache hair twitch slightly as he scribbles a note on the back of a McDonald's cup.

No. 5 - Yacksel Rios, RHP

8.0 IP, 6 H, 3 ER, 4 BB, 4 SO, 2 HBP, 1 WP

Rios made the start on the 24th and threw three innings, allowing three straight hits to begin the game and never really finding his safe zone as walks and doubles were sprinkled throughout his performance. But he got a few outs where he needed to, and prevented true disaster by only allowing two runs before giving way to teammate Tom Windle.

His previous start on the 19th saw similarly off-target tendencies, as he hit two batsman and allowed both a wild pitch and a walk in three innings while not allowing a run and striking out two. It's one of those times when you think "That's a noteworthy amount of hit batsmen," but then you think about if you were the one pitching and how your complete lack of motor skills would lead to people thinking you were trying to become a serial killer based on the number of guys you hit with pitches.

He'd made a relief appearance prior to that, also striking out two in two innings of work.

No. 6 - J.P. Crawford, SS

3-for-20, 3 R, 2 BB, 6 SO, 0 SB

I know what you're thinking. "But you didn't list Andrew Knapp's zero stolen bases!" To that I say, allow me to remind you that I AM THE RANKER OF THESE POWER RANKINGS. ME. YOUR PROTESTS ARE USELESS also Knapp is a catcher, is he even allowed to steal bases? Thanks for your question, trying to keep an open dialogue here.

Obviously, we put more emphasis on Crawford, given that he is a star child, born once a millenium, and destined to lead our franchise to the Promised Land. Three hits in 20 at-bats is not stellar, but they are made worse-looking by the six K's. To those who are shaking their heads right now, allow me to point out that Derek Fisher of the Astros has struck out 10 times in 20 AB, and that's way worse.

[Sees your distracted while thinking about Fisher's strikeouts] Run, J.P.!