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Editor's note: TGP just received a short e-mail (!) this morning from an old friend. After a hastily arranged teleconference with Pat's representatives, Mike and The Guy, during which there were lots of awkward pauses and people talking over each other regarding permission to post its contents, we herewith set forth the agreed-upon contents, and, as usual, provide The Complete Set of Links to previous episodes of Veteran Clubhouse Presence, below.
YO. HO. HO. NERDOS AND NERDITAS, BLOGAROGADINGDONGS EVERYWHERE. I AM FEELING FINE TODAY. Remember me? I'm baaack! Hey and guess what, I'm getting all into this computer stuff ever since I hung up the spikes and increased the quantity of my barefoot time. As usual, it took a classic weekend at The Man's place in Cali (Pineapple helped out by sharing some premium on-demand videos like that fake Deadspin Super Bowl ad with [redacted] for me to fully understand what you geeks are all stiff about, but applied computer science? Hey, I'm all in. In. In. In. Yeah.
Anyways. Click. This. Assholes.
And the 37th inductee into the #Phillies Toyota WOF is… Pat Burrell! Induction ceremony on 7/31 prior to the game. pic.twitter.com/EAkHV4lQWM
— Phillies (@Phillies) February 26, 2015
Heading out to the cages today. You know I'm totally still murdering baseballs with my shirt off, right? But only where it's warm, and only around teams that win titles. Say, what are the temps in Philly these days? Anyway, I'll be back in town this summer. I might be feeling fine enough to even give you little blogarogadingdongs a little interview taste of what Pat the Bat is like all live and in person, with the Brown Eyes (TM) and my ball-slapping pythons, if you sad little jock sniffs are anywhere near the pressbox. Oh, that's right. You. Just. Blog. Maybe it's just as well. You all are probably radio and newspaper ugly. The TV reporters, they screen for looks, like that hot TV reporter in St. Louis who [redacted].
Anyways, gotta jam. My gloves and hands are all sweaty now., See you this summer. Keep all your important parts warm, you pathetic losers. Ha.
Pat out.
PS. Thanks to any of you out there in DingDong Land who sent me a nice note about Elvis (we had some times, man), particularly the ones who gave me their pictures and numbers (especially the one who did both in one picture). This just reminded me that imma slide into your DMs.
The Veteran Clubhouse Presence Oeuvre:
Veteran Clubhouse Presence by Pat the Bat: Retirement Package (Parts 2 and Possibly Even 3-Way) - Feb. 2, 2012
Retirement Package (part 1) - Nov. 15, 2011
Word is Bondage - Nov. 1, 2010
Giants-Phillies Pennant Throwdown Pervue - Oct. 13, 2010
Bonus Ginsberg Fanboy Beat Poem Homage: BURL - August 19, 2010
Week 3 Diary: Beating the Bushes - Jun. 7, 2010
Week 2 Diary: Longer, Deeper - May 28, 2010
An Earnest Appeal to Pat the Bat - May 17, 2010
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog entry are purely those of the writer, who is now strangely appreciative of the time he thought he wasted about 20 years ago in a postgraduate, cliche-ridden reading binge diet of Charles Bukowski,Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg and Hunter S Thompson. The content and allegations contained in this piece and all those linked to hereabove are merely inspired by actual events by current or former major league baseball bats or players, one of whom is permanently ensconced in his memory, riding
smiling in your dog-
parade down the Broad Street across Philadelphia with beers
to the core of my being on a baseball night