Real quick rundown of Phillies spring training injuries

You never know whose knees are going to explode or who is going to contract a flesh-eating virus at Phillies training camp! It's just one of those wacky places where anything can happen.

Sadly, many Phillies players are in recovery for/currently suffering from an ailment of some kind. That's just baseball, but on the Phillies, the injuries can tend to get a little overwhelming, so let's review some of the body parts malfunctioning on our favorite team:

Cliff Lee (36): Ugh. UPDATE, 1:32 PM: UUUGGGGHHH.

UPDATE, 1:52 PM: Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez: MAG, whose development became slightly more important given the absence of Cliff Lee, has been struck in the leg by a Jose Iglesias comebacker and left today's game against the Tigers.

Cody Asche (24): Contused by a pitch yesterday and left the game in the fifth, claims he was leaving the game anyway and that bruises are cool. Sources confirm that relative to size and placement, bruises can be "pretty sweet I guess." Such is the intensity of his wound, the imprint of the ball's seams were very clear.

Adam Morgan (25): Recovering from January 2014 surgery to correct a gap in the front of his shoulder that was affecting his humerus bone. He says his arm felt "great" during his recent appearance, but Ryne Sandberg said it looked only "good." Reporters are presumably getting to the bottom of this cover-up.

Aaron Harang (36): Missed a start due to tightness in his back, made his first start yesterday and seems okay. Says he is "smarter" than ever, though baseball has yet to substitute a "trivia lightning round" for the fourth inning, despite endless rumors.

Ben Revere (26): Control of his legs belongs to a pair of giggling mice living in is head.

Ben Revere just ran about 20 feet, turned around twice and ended up in the same place. Defensive player tracking can't get here fast enough.

— Jeff Moore (@jeffmooreBP) March 7, 2015

Chase Utley (36): Sprained ankle; Phillies trainers have also once again deemed him "too sexy for his shirt." Looking-at Things Expert Ruben Amaro says he "just saw" Chase's ankle and "it's still swollen," but Utley should be hitting in less than a week. Utley's yearly bout with "dangerous levels of sexitude" will remain a manageable, if incurable, condition.

Mario Hollands (26): Suffering from traumatic hit to his pride as a member of the SAE fraternity:

Very embarrassed to be a member/brother of SAE http://t.co/HMedjDcxtl #SAE

— Mario Hollands (@mario_hollands) March 9, 2015

Chad Billingsley (30): Mounting a comeback from Tommy John/flexor tendon surgeries that will keep him out of the rotation until late April. Go, pitching depth, go! Throw that first live batting practice of the year!

Kelly Dugan (24): Already sent down to minor league camp, Dugan had apparently shown up in a walking boot. In late February he was supposed to be wearing it for just one more week, so he is likely off playing with all the other boys by now. Also, when you Google him, this happens:

Which is weird.

Tommy Joseph (23): Actually, Joseph is "100 percent healthy," which is a gratifying change of pace for the young catching prospect. People have been equating Joseph with his multiple concussions for years, so that he is healthy enough to give it another try is just nice to hear. Keep those brains safe, young Tommy, we're all rooting for you.