From: CLIFF CAESAR, A TRAGEDIE IN FIVE ACTS
ACT I SCENE II Clearwater, FL.
Flourish. Enter CLIFF; COLE, for the course; AMARO, CHASE, GALVIS, FRANCOEUR, DOM BROWN, RYNE SANDBERG, and THE PHANATIC; a great crowd following, among them a Soothsayer.
THE PHANATIC [gyrating belly wildly]: Peace, ho! Cliff speaks.
CLIFF: Hey Ruben!
AMARO: Here, my number two starter.
CLIFF Stand you directly in Cole's way,
When he doth run his warmup pitches. Cole!
COLE: Cliff, my lord?
CAESAR Forget not, in your speed to Boston, Cole,
To touch Amaro; for Charlie did say,
The barren, touched in a holy trade,
Shake off their World Series drought.
COLE: I shall remember:
When Cliff Caesar says "do this," it is perform'd.
CAESAR: Whatever; leave no ceremony out.
CLIFF: Ha! who calls?
THE PHANATIC [honking nose]: Bid every noise be still: peace yet again!
CLIFF: Who is it in the press that calls on me?
I hear a tongue, shriller than all Cody Ross' walkup music,
Cry "Cliff! Cliff, you bum!" Speak; Cliff is turn'd to hear.
Soothsayer: Beware the ides of March!
CAESAR What man is that?
DOM BROWN: Oh that's just Eskin; he bids you beware the ides of March.
CLIFF: Set him before me; let me see his face.
My goodness he doth look like the Burger King guy.
SANDBERG: Buddy, come on out; look Cliff in the eye, dangit.
CLIFF: What say'st thou to me now? Speak once again.
Though screamst not so loudly this time.
It is like you don't know that people can turn up their radios.
ESKIN: BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH!!!!
CLIFF: He is a dreamer; let us leave him: pass.
[Walking onward, CLIFF trips over several columns and tears his left flexor tendon on a bust of Pallas]
CLIFF: Aw dangit, Howard!
ESKIN [spookily]: Ooooohooooo! Tune in to my morning show on WIP!