Phillies not going to play Chase Utley "for a little while"

Anybody worried about the Phillies' season can breathe a sigh of relief: it's going just as well as you thought it would.

Chase Utley's right ankle isn't completely healthy. Didn't work out today. "They're not going to play him for a little while," Amaro said.

— Todd Zolecki (@ToddZolecki) March 2, 2015

This news comes after Utley admitted in his spring training press conference that he sprained his ankle by, how else, stepping on a baseball. That news came after Utley blurted out the f-word while trying to take a picture of the reporters as they ogled him.

We as a people have a rich history of receiving poor news of Utley's health in the preseason. To this day, the Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News' abandoned headquarters at 400 N. Broad Street sports a fading image of Utley on its front from a cover story inquiring ominously on Utley's health from a spring long ago.

Who could forget the March when we all learned how to spell "patella tendonitis" and "Chrondromalacia patella?" That was followed by assurances that he was okay, the rigid silence as we looked on worriedly, the time a reporter asked him how his knees were and he just ran away, which was technically an answer.

Anyway, a 37-year-old infielder with an injury history is no surprise, and neither is his being cautious and missing time with an ankle sprain.