For tonight's clickbait recap title, I was going to dress like Kate Upton, put my moobs on metal shelves, and go out to ride my horse through your tv screen. Instead, I figured I'd just end that idea with the caption and the thought of Ryne Sandberg licking his lips with antici....pation during the press conference following the win that the Phillies earned against St. Louis tonight in Baseball Heaven.
The Sandberg press conference lick lip count is probably my favorite thing about the Phillies right now. I imagine Sandberg thinking of what dumbass thing he could think of to say next based on some sort of troll-like baseball tough guy caricature, and when he has it, he absentmindedly licks his lips as some sort of mnemonic device.
Or you may alternatively think of the lips being licked at the thought of Cole Hamels grinding out seven innings of one run baseball despite having less than stellar command, velocity barely over 90 mph, but a wicked curveball.
7 innings pitched, 9 strikeouts, 4 walks, 4 hits, and 1 run surrendered. He threw 114 pitches and nicely threw 69 for strikes. The first few innings, it appeared that Hamels might only make it through 5 innings, but his curve saved him tonight. He buckled a few knees tonight, including strikes three on Matt Adams (looking in the fifth) and Jon Jay (looking in the seventh) that were just delightful.
The Phillies hitters seemed as though they were going to piss away yet another delightful Hamels start, scoring nothing through 6 innings. But Hamels helped out. With some #sandball.
In the seventh, Cody Asche led off with a single. Carlos Ruiz, with a wonderful 4 for 4 night at the plate, singled, moving Asche to third. On a contact play from a Galvis grounder, Asche was caught at home and run down. Hamels bunted to put runners at second and third with 2 out.
Phillies runners go to die on base, but Ben Revere slapped a double the opposite way -- it bounced just on/inside the left field line, and two runs scored. Odubel Herrera stroked a single to score Revere and was thrown out trying to take second on a baserunning play that was aggressive and not egregious. THREE RUNS. IN ONE INNING.
With a 3 - 1 lead, Hamels shut down the Cardinals in the seventh.
Giles and Papelbon closed things out. Papelbon did make it mildly interesting in the ninth after two quick outs, but was never really in trouble.
Cody Asche made a delightful play on a Yadier Molina grounder in foul territory, jumped, and threw a one-hopper to make the play at first. The caveat is that it was a catcher running, but it was a pretty swell play at third for Asche.
Carlos Ruiz threw out John Jay on an aborted hit and run, went 4 for 4 (including a double), and he scored 2 runs.
Chase Utley hit two balls deep in the gap in right center, but came away with nothing to show for it. Here's hoping some of those balls start dropping soon.
In other news, the Braves beat the Washington Nationals, putting the Nats and their All-World rotation right into last place in the NL East.
Fangraph of Pitching *and* Hitting: