Scott Proefrock shared from Phillies-approved comments on Cody Asche with you

The Phillies allowed assistant general manager Scott Proefrock a brief escape from their labyrinthine subterranean hellscape in order to plug a few PR holes. You probably remember Scott from his exasperated caricature in multiple Phillies fan fiction episodes that some people used to write sometimes before they became normal, decent people.

Anyways, the news on Proefrock is hot: He's doing "well." He just got a haircut. And he's got a short list of ambiguous, space-filling answers on Cody Asche's recent demotion to Lehigh Valley, where he will become an outfielder, fixing the Phillies' outfield woes once and forever.

Proefrock is of the notion that Cody Asche has the raw athletic talent to make the transition from third base to left field smoothly. But "time will tell," he added ominously, then discreetly checked an archaic pocket watch covered in apocalyptic hieroglyphics. Asche was apparently "disappointed" to receive the demotion, but reported to the IronPigs tonight without making himself the center of an intense, blogosphere-wide manhunt over the course of about 30 hours, unlike some people.

The IronPigs, on the other hand, were f****** jazzed as hell to have Asche back on a night that meant Asche, Domonic Brown, and David Buchanan would all be in the Lehigh Valley lineup.

Hey @cody_smasche! pic.twitter.com/4rKZMTicNT

— IronPigs (@IronPigs) May 12, 2015

A former outfielder, IronPigs manager Dave Brundage was touted by Proefrock of being a talented instructor, of which Asche could take advantage while he works to convince the Phillies he is "comfortable" in left field.

Proefrock also praised Freddy Galvis' defense, A.J. Burnett's hitting, and was discussing the brutality of watching Burnett pitch through a sports hernia last season when Sean O'Sullivan cut him off by catching a line drive in his bare fist.