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Ruben "Fresh Prince" Amaro Raps: Fans Just Don't Understand

We at the Good Phight have obtained the full audio of Ruben Amaro's comments about fans' lack of understanding. We post it here for you.

Scott Gries/Getty Images

With apologies to Philly greats, here are the transcribed comments from Ruben Amaro:

You know fans are the same no matter time nor place
They don't understand that us GMs are gonna make some mistakes
So to you, all the GMs all across the land
There's no need to argue, fans just don't understand

I remember last week
This fan took me prospect shopping
It was me, Larry, Dallas, oh, Dave, and little Eddie
All hopped in the car
We headed downtown to see some Reading ball
This fan started bugging when he saw the pitcher's throws
I didn't say nothing at first
I just turned up my nose
He said, "What's wrong? This kid costs like $20"
I said, "Dude, this pitcher can't always hang a collar!"
The next half hour was the same old thing
This fan saying he knows they're just like Cliff Lee
And then he lost his mind and did the ultimate
I asked him for patience and he gave me even more lip!
I said, "Dude, what are you doing, you're ruining my fanbase"
He said, "You've won nothing, you don't have a fanbase yet"
I said, "Dude, let's leave these guys here, please"
He said "No, they're not in the minors to learn, they're ready for the show"
I said, "They're not Halladay, come on Man, I'm not Thomas
Dude, we have to leave them here with their mamas
But if you want to hurry them I can live with that but
You gotta back off these double-A serviceable hacks"

He wasn't moved - everything stayed the same
Inevitably the first day of June came
I thought I could get over, I tried to move quick
But this fan said, "No, no way, uh-uh, forget it"
There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax
I sent to the mound all these ancient artifacts
And when they walked to the mound, it was just as I thought
The fans were cracking up laughing at the pitchers we bought
And those who weren't laughing still had the gall
Because they were pointing and whispering
As our starters tried to throw the ball
I called WIP and told the fans how it went
They said, "If they were blowing it you don't need them,
Cause they're not good arms"
For the next six hours I tried to explain to this fan
That I was gonna have to wait to see the youngsters throw another 200 more times

So to you all the GMs all across the land
There's no need to argue
Fans just don't understand