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Rerun: Orioles 4, Phillies 0

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Honestly, I'm pretty sure today's game was a mishmash of the last handful of games and nobody really noticed. Prove to me that's not true.

I know how you feel, Cameron. I know how you feel.
I know how you feel, Cameron. I know how you feel.
Rob Carr/Getty Images

Here are some facts about today's game:

  • This was the Phillies seventh loss in a row.
  • They've played 13 games in June, and won only three. That's right, three.
  • With one more loss, the Phillies will have lost twice as many games as they have won.
  • Aaron Harang has already reached that mark, as today's loss brings the cro-magnon man to 4-8 on the year.
  • Have I mentioned that the Phillies have only won three games in their last 13?
  • And that they have the worst record in baseball? By two games? And that they're horribly painful to watch?

The Phillies lost 4-0 today. Aaron Harang gave up all four runs on just two hits. The team had only four hits today. Cesar Hernandez had two, Cody Asche had one, and Chase Utley had one. But desperation, thy name is Utley. He was thrown out trying to stretch a single into a double. Maikel Franco had no hits, and was thrown out in the seventh inning for arguing balls and strikes. It was his first ever ejection! Someone save the baseball he was arguing over! For the scrapbook! We need to remember these precious moments!

How much more do you really want to know about this game? The less said, the better. There is a lot more baseball to play this year, and there are going to be more losses like this. Many more. So I don't know about you, marvelous readers, but I need to pace my outrage, indignation, disappointment, and hopelessness. I mean, I'm already nearly out of all those things. I need to recharge them.

Are you ready for more fun facts about this game? I don't care! You're totally getting them!

ARE THOSE FUN I CAN'T TELL ANYMORE OH GOD ARE MY EYES BLEEDING SOMEONE GET ME A TISSUE PLEASE