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Oh my god, we forgot to freak out about Maikel Franco's elbow

Did you guys not know about this or

Maikel! No! Don't put any pressure on those things!
Maikel! No! Don't put any pressure on those things!
Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

The Phillies only have one future, but it will presumably include Maikel Franco, their stud third baseman who can hit and field sometimes, and is young and great to see. Look at him out there, fielding that baseball, spinning around, and throwing it to first base, having "Blanco" on the back of his jersey instead of "Franco" because of some cool inside joke that I probably don't understand.

Wait. That's not Franco. That's Andres Blanco. What the hell's he doing out there? For Aaron Nola's debut, no less! The Phillies turned Citizens Bank Park into a shrine for Nola, the pitcher whom I don't believe I'm overstating when I say that he had the most historical Phillies start in the history of the franchise.

So where was that third baseman we need so much? Damn it, the future won't get here if we don't take all the pieces of it and put them near each other. It's like fixing something in your house. You just put all the tools and supplies you need to do the job in the same place and eventually it just gets done.

"Franco's sore right throwing elbow was examined Tuesday, and though he wasn't in the lineup against the Rays, he's considered day-to-day."

--Megan Montemurro, Delaware News Journal

"Day-to-day?!" What the hell does that mean?! This news is so horrible, no one should even bother to read the rest of the article. Let's all collapse into our standard rage-naps and hope our wives have come back when we open our eyes.

Damn it.

Still, though. Is Franco fine or could he die at any second?!! Christ, I think we're all "day-to-day," technically. What if I wake up tomorrow and someone has poisoned my tooth paste again?! Or I just think they have, because my teeth are a little sensitive. That's the same thing!

As any medical professional will explain to you, the elbow is constructed out of the organic material as the soft spot on a baby's head. One mishap, and Franco is done. Why is no one else freaking out about this?! I'm so terrified I've started packing a suitcase for some reason! How will that help?!

Oh, good; somebody got a comment from the man himself. I assume this will just be a series of appropriately panicked shrieks.

"[It's] getting better," Franco said. "Today when I came in I felt my arm and [it's] better. I just go to the training room right away and Scott [Sheridan, the head athletic trainer] told me it's getting better, too."

--Jake Kaplan, Inquirer


Don't be fooled. The Phillies have managed to suck Franco into their shadow world of falsehoods and double talk. His ambiguous, meaningless statement here is worth nothing. Nor is the idea that the team is resting him in tandem with a scheduled off day so that he can be out of the lineup for three