Bizarre is the only word I can think of to describe this 10-8 loss against the Dodgers. Imagine, if you will, being in a meeting at work and following along on Gameday. Not that I was. I totally wasn't doing that at all.
"Whew, two quick outs to start the game. It's probably OK now if I put the phone down, there's just one more out to get and I should be paying attention to this presentation."
Five minutes later
"That's long enough. I should see how the bottom of the first is going. WHA---" [makes face, co-worker is weirded out] "God, David Buchanan is so bad. He gave up three runs in the first inning... so far? The inning is still going on?! He is terrible today, I don't want to follow this!"
Ten minutes later
"I'm a lying liar who lies, I need to see how the game is going." [shakes phone] "That can't be right. The Phillies can't have two runs already against Zack Greinke, someone is asleep at the switch or hallucinating weird numbers or being held at gunpoint and forced to input these clearly fake numbers. Huh, they even have runners on the corners! Zack Greinke doesn't scare these Phillies one bit. I wonder what Dom Brown will do here..." [drops phone, face frozen in look of pure joy] "HE HIT A THREE RUN HOME RUN HOLY BUTT ALL I WANT TO DO IS CHEER AND SHOUT BUT I'M IN THIS STUPID MEETING, THIS IS SO UNFAIR."
Ten more minutes later
"SERIOUSLY DAVID BUCHANAN IS SO BAD. SCORING THAT MANY RUNS OFF ZACK GREINKE IS A GIFT FROM THE BASEBALL GODS AND BUCHANAN GAVE UP A THREE-RUN HOMER AND BLEW THE LEAD LIKE THEY'RE FACING CHRIS VOLSTAD... My face probably looks really angry now, I wonder if my co-workers think I'm angry at the presentation or just plain crazy."
Fifteen minutes later, top of the third
"Two quick outs again for Buchanan, hopefully nothing weird will happen and he can get the final out and get to the next inn-- GREINKE HIT A SOLO HOMER, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Send Buchanan on a rocket to the moon. OH CRAP SOMEONE IS ASKING ME A QUESTION."
Many minutes later, top of the sixth
"I think it's safe to look at my phone now, everyone is paying attention to that guy on the other side of the room. Good, Buchanan is out of the game. It's Justin De Fratus again, it's been awhile since he's pitched on consecutive days...... And I guess that's for good reason, stop giving up hits, JDF! Maybe if I concentrate hard enough on one important phrase, it'll make its way to his brain. DON'T SUCK. DON'T SUCK. DON'T SUCK. DON'T SUCK. DON'T SUCK. DAMMIT IT DIDN'T WORK, NOW IT'S 9-6! ...... OH WAIT IT'S 10-6 NOW BECAUSE GROUNDOUTS ARE TOO GOOD FOR JUSTIN DE FRATUS."
Eleven trillion minutes later
"How is this meeting not over yet? I've been in here for at least five or six years now, probably. And good God, how is this game still going on!? Come on, Phillies, it's the ninth inning! Just lose and end it! Oh what's happening, are the Phillies mounting a comeback?" [congratulatory work-related clapping] THEY ARE! MAIKEL FRANCO HIT A DOUBLE AND PLATED TWO RUNS, 10-8 PHILLIES! Come on, phone, stay with me! Don't give up now, just a few more minutes and you may get to witness one of the most exciting comeba-- wait, how is it over!? Did Domonic Brown just hit into a line drive double play to end the game? He did! DAMMIT!!"
It was an utterly bizarre experience. Or it would have been if I'd done any of that, which I definitely did not. Meetings and presentations at work are awesome, why would I want to pay attention to some baseball game instead? Yup. Exactly.
I looked through the game summary as I walked to my car and watched what I considered to be the most important videos, all Dom Brown related.
YES. YES YES YES. THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. Also happy-making is his RBI single in the third inning, which brought the Phillies to within one run of the Dodgers. You can watch it here since it's not embeddable yet by the fun-haters at MLB.
And that's how the game ended. If Adrian Gonzalez had been positioned differently, who knows what would have happened. But Dom Brown hit the ball really, really hard. And the Phillies put up a fight again despite utterly crappy pitching. In the end, that's what I care about seeing.