Play The Hits - Mets 9, Phillies 4

There was a game tonight! It was...it was boring? It couldn't have possibly been boring, given that there were 26 hits, a Matt Harvey-Aaron Nola matchup, and an inter-division rivalry. And yet, there it is.

There's a bit of a Tom and Jerry dynamic to the Phillies and the Mets this year, with the Phillies firmly in the role of perpetual loser Tom. It's essentially impossible for me to root hard against the Mets this year -- the whole team seems like a bunch of swell guys, and I just hate the Nats so, so much. It's nice that someone ruined Matt Williams' year.

Anyway, I'm getting away from myself, and there's good reason for that: this game was boring. Aaron Nola did Aaron Nola things, pitching fairly well with some strikeouts and very few walks, while allowing a pair of home runs. One was to Michael Conforto. The other, though, was on the one non-boring play of the game, as a Ruben Tejada flare into right turned into an inside-the-parker after Domonic Brown flipped over a fence and out of play.

I realize, I realize -- this sounds like the worst madlib you've ever read, but don't worry, it'll be over soon. (PS: Dom is getting tested for a concussion, as if he could be more snakebit).

Matt Harvey pitched like old Matt Harvey, striking out nine Phillies and giving up a longball to the very last person you'd ever expect to hit one off of Matt Harvey. That's right, for those of you playing at home, it was Darnell Sweeney. Sweeney's dinger accounted for one of the Phillies' RBIs, while Cesar Hernandez and returning hero Erik Kratz chipped in a few of their own. Kratz's came on a double, too, in case you forgot who your favorite player from Telford was and what he could do.

And...yeah. The bullpens did very little, good or bad. Dalier Hinojosa continues to prove why he's the most boring relief prospect in baseball, walking two and getting through two innings without a lot to show for it. Still, Adam Loewen and Colton Murray pitched some nice innings, with some especially nice results from Murray. Meanwhile, the Mets' Parade of Disgraced Closers continued with an appearance from Your Fantasy Baseball Crush 2012, Addison Reed. He pitched a scoreless ninth -- go figure.

In all, the game was exciting and all because it was baseball, but don't fool yourself: there's not a lot to get worked up over here. The Phillies are in the cellar, and hopefully for draft position's sake they stay there at least through September and October. The Mets are running away with a bad division, but they're doing it impressively. And what happens when a bad team meets a good team? Well the bad team might steal a game or two, but the good team will prove why it's good. And that's what the Mets did tonight.

But hey look on the bright side: it's still baseball!