So, how about that Jonathan Papelbon? Isn't he just a peach!? Every day I'm so sad that the Phillies traded him to the Nationals. I miss him.
HA HA HA NO NOT REALLY. I'm 100% lying. Jonathan Papelbon is a tremendous idiot who seems like a horrible teammate. I'm grateful every single day that the Phillies figured out a way to trade him, and that the Nationals were stupid enough to actually trade FOR him. I honestly cannot believe Amaro pulled that off. If I ever get a chance to meet him, I will shake his hand and thank him for that. And only that. Well, and probably Roy Halladay.
I'd talk more about baseball but I have a Sesame Street clip that I've been saving for this exact day.
This is one of the greatest clips in Sesame Street history. It didn't appear in an actual episode -- it was shown during a PBS pledge drive in the late 80s, and it features a CAVALCADE OF LATE 80S STARS. SO MANY!
- John Candy as that clarinet-playing weirdo from SCTV!
- Someone else from SCTV, and the internet tells me her name is Edith Prickley!
- NEW YORK METS KEITH HERNANDEZ AND MOOKIE WILSON!
- Jane Curtin, one of the funniest women ever!
- Madeline Kahn, another one of the funniest women ever, with a rubber duck on her head!
- Jazz singer Joe Williams!
- PEE WEE HERMAN!
- Ladysmith Black Mambazo, for some reason, and they bring the entire song to a grinding halt!
- Wynton Marsalis and his trumpet!
- Celia Cruz, legendary Cuban-American salsa singer!
- Violinist Ihtzak Perlman, playing his violin like a ukelele!
- Two British people from Upstairs Downstairs!
- Paul Simon, singing his part from a futuristic dentist's office waiting room!
- Jeremy Irons in a bow tie and vest, because why not!
- PETE SEEGER!!!!!!
- Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito! Sure!
- A bunch of football players from Satan's Team!
YOU CAN TELL I WAS NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE CAVALCADE OF STARS!
The premise of this song is that Ernie can't play his saxophone (??) without hearing Rubber Duckie squeak. And that's because Ernie won't put down Rubber Duckie, because I think he may have a problem. So Hoots, the awesomest owl to ever owl, enlists all those people to tell Ernie to put the down the damn duck so he can play the sax like a normal sax playing puppet. There are some amazing lyrics in this song, which leads up to Hoots telling Ernie that he can PICK UP THE DUCK WHEN HE'S DONE PLAYING THE SAX, but the most amazing is certainly "Ernie, put the quacker down!"
I also can't pass by this clip without mentioning that Sesame Street never, ever skimped on their background puppets. They weren't just felt lumps bopping up and down. They were fully formed puppets and they all had a purpose in whatever sketch they were appearing in. In "Put Down the Duckie", the background puppets populated the band, playing instruments and singing backup, complete with actual mouth and body movements. That's quality television.
|NEW YORK METS
|Curtis Granderson - RF
|Freddy Galvis - SS
|David Wright - 3B
|Odubel Herrera - CF
|Daniel Murphy - 2B
|Aaron Altherr - LF
|Yoenis Cespedes - CF
|Darin Ruf - 1B
|Lucas Duda - 1B
|Cody Asche - 3B
|Travis d'Arnaud - C
|Darnell Sweeney - 2B
|Michael Conforto - LF
|Cameron Rupp - C
|Ruben Tejada - SS
|Brian Bogusevic - RF
|Bartolo Colon - RHP
|David Buchanan - RHP
This lineup is not nearly as exciting as the clip above. But at least the Phillies might have a chance of winning today's game now that the Mets have clinched. Maybe. Probably not. But it would be super awesome to improve on the 2-14 record the Phils have against the Mets this season. That's right. 2-14. I'm not making that up.
Please win Phillies. Just win this one game against the Mets. Not even this game! Win tomorrow's game! Or Thursday's game! JUST WIN AGAINST THE METS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Discuss the game in the comments below.