Fresh off a false alarm press conference in which the Phillies did not let any players speak to the waiting horde of gathered media members, they allowed Aaron Nola, perhaps the most boring player in the organization, to communicate with fans over social media platform, Twitter. Today featured part two of that series of indeterminate length as another Aaron, Aaron Altherr, took over the keyboard.
We'll go through some of the notable highlights of that session in what follows, but suffice it to say at the outset that Altherr was much more entertaining in his brief availability.
Aroldis Chapman https://t.co/ZqHI7cjhl9— Phillies (@Phillies) January 20, 2016
This seems like a totally reasonable answer and is the answer I imagine I would give if I had to stand at the plate against major league pitchers. In addition to throwing a fastball that routinely clocks over 100mph, Chapman, a lefty, throws a pretty nasty slider at around 88mph. As a right-handed hitter, I can sympathize with the terror Altherr feels when Aroldis Chapman is throwing pitches in his general direction.
No, it's a pretzel. https://t.co/c4R54TmnVr— Phillies (@Phillies) January 20, 2016
I've never heard this answer before, and, quite frankly, I'm not sure it's a valid response. I can imagine a hot dog being served in a pretzel roll, but, still, the hot dog wouldn't be a pretzel; it would merely be surrounded by a pretzel roll. Points awarded for thinking outside the box though.
Ok, fine. It's a hoagie. https://t.co/sFjfxsHU1o— Phillies (@Phillies) January 20, 2016
This is more valid and I'm not sure if it's entirely incorrect. In terms of the type of roll it is served in, a hot dog bears some resemblance to a hoagie. But, if we're going with that classification, a cheesesteak is a hoagie, which I'm not sure I'm willing to accept. This, however, is a much better attempt at getting to the truth of this pressing matter.
2015 Hyundai Sonata https://t.co/BLMEN7Ux9B— Phillies (@Phillies) January 20, 2016
Driving the sort of car us average folk can afford is a rarity for professional athletes, or celebrities of any stature, for that matter. Last December, 21 year-old Canadian sprinter and world 100m Bronze Medalist Andre De Grasse signed a $11.25 million contract with Puma. He celebrated by purchasing a brand new Honda Accord. Altherr hasn't quite had the pay day as De Grasse, so it seems he had to settle for a slightly cheaper vehicle.
No one asked Aaron Nola what his favorite emoji was because, in all likelihood, he doesn't know what an emoji is. Altherr was asked because he's actually fun, and responded with a strong submission of the suave, sunglass-wearing smily face emoji.
Not much to note here other than Altherr's comfort with emoji culture. What a hip dude.
From a purely football perspective, I'm not sure anyone would consider the Cardinals an obvious favorite for the Super Bowl. Sure, they have a pretty good chance to win, but they're probably not even the favorites to reach the Super Bowl out of the NFC. Upon further inspection, however, it appears that Altherr attended high school in Avondale, Arizona, which is a suburb of Phoenix, so his blind homerism can be forgiven.
Cheesesteaks https://t.co/8BCMg60uWi— Phillies (@Phillies) January 20, 2016
How would a player have a favorite concession at CBP? Aren't they usually playing in the games without access to the concourse? Further, cheesesteak is a vague description. There are a variety of such sandwiches available at CBP. Does he prefer Campos? Or is it Tony Luke's he favors? So many questions, so few answers.
Apple https://t.co/02QCDeQNfW— Phillies (@Phillies) January 20, 2016
This is an incorrect opinion. Why would you pay twice as much for an operating system that, at best, is just as good as Android. I guess he saved money on the Hyundai Sonata, so it's ok if he splurges a little bit to fit in more with his choice of phone. Frugality, however, is a way of life. A way of life, it appears, that Altherr does not adhere to.
Passionate fans https://t.co/7Q9oyuVLTz— Phillies (@Phillies) January 20, 2016
After Aaron Nola referred to Philadelphia fans yesterday as merely "solid," Altherr's pandering to the insecurities of the typical Philadelphia native should win over many. Clearly Altherr knows his constituency and what it wants to hear.
That does it for today's edition of Phillies Prospects Type Some Things, the second of an ongoing series. Tomorrow, at 3:30pm, manager Pete Mackanin will take the the digital waves to answer our burning questions. Maybe he'll even sprinkle in some of the Spanish he's been learning.