Before I try to lull you off into a false sense of security, allow me to introduce myself a little, since I'm the new guy.
My name is Chris Jones (stunningly exotic name), @LONG_DRIVE on twitter, and if you were to know me for any reason at all, it is because I either said something on twitter that annoyed you, or you used to read TheFightins.com and saw my stupid MSPaint works making fun of pitchers' names. Or you were around for the Danys Baez shirsey debacle. Hopefully not the latter.
I'll be a doing a good share of game threads and hopefully make you laugh with my terrible puns in picture form.
To start off, yes, I know the Phillies will not be very good this year, but pitchers and catchers are reporting today and baseball is finally here, so shut up and listen.
Unlike last season, where all we could do was focus on was what we were going to get for Cole Hamels, this year we have some things to be excited about from day one. And I'm not talking National Anthem standoffs, which even that we lost. YOU HAD ONE JOB HARANGUTAN.
I'll be doing multiple posts in this vein over the next week, so if you hate this one, too bad. I'll be using a ton of gifs to get my point across so first off, watch this so we can move on.
I'll be starting this off later today with Maikel Franco. Instead of telling you what you already know about him, the goal is to just remind you through gif and video of his excellence, so check back later today.