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Former Phillies suddenly all newsworthy at the same time

There's enough ex-Phillies news right now that somebody should say really say something.

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

Freddy Garcia: Retired in Venezuela

The White Sox are very eager to put their fingerprints all over the retirement of 39-year-old Freddy Garcia, who is slowly backing away from baseball after 21 years. His last pitch came for Venezuela in the Carribean Series title game. But we all know "Sweaty" Freddy's true legacy: 11 starts for the 2007 Philadelphia Phillies.

We got good vibes around here in 2006 when Aaron Rowand splattered his own face on the outfield wall. Riding that blood-fueled momentum into 2007, enthusiasm was still high. Just check out this exciting paragraph from ESPN:


Wow, we got Garcia and Adam Eaton?! You know what guys, I think this is finally going to be our year!

By now, Garcia has likely blocked the 58 innings in which he gave up 74 hits and 38 earned runs from his memory. But as with any of those who have wronged us purposefully, by accident, or unknowingly through some messily perceived wrong, we move our misgivings with the man to the forefront of his accomplishments so that they may always be marred. To his credit, Garcia did finish the 2002 All-Star Game when his replacement on the mound turned out to be way too drunk to pitch.

Congratulations, Freddy!

Gavin Floyd: Employed in Toronto

Here's a fun fact for you baseball nerds out there: Gavin Floyd appeared in seven games for the Indians last year.  I thought he just existed in the form of a sad Wikipedia article now. But, no - Floyd will receive $1 million on a one year deal with the Blue Jays.

Few pitchers have been as inviting and accommodating to offenses as Floyd was in 2005 for the Phillies, when he allowed 29 earned runs to circle the bases in only 26 innings of work. The fourth overall pick in the 2001 MLB Draft bookended tat magical year with an encouraging rookie debut in 2004 and some prolonged exposure in 2006, when the team gave him 11 starts and 54 innings to prove them wrong and he went out and amassed a 7.29 ERA.

Suffering from a broken elbow really put the screws to the 33-year-old in 2015, but now he hopes to make a dent backed by the American League's most nuclear offense.

Delmon Young: Arrested in Miami

There was a litany of offenses on Delmon Young's record prior to the Phillies signing him to be an everyday outfielder in 2013. As a young man, he was suspended in the minors twice, once for bumping an umpire, and the next for upping the anty and throwing a bat at an umpire.

Young arrived in the majors - getting plunked by Freddy Garcia in his first at-bat - and his reputation continued to precede him. When Ruben Amaro was pointing out where to sign on his new Phillies contract two years ago, Young was coming off an "aggravated assault" arrest while drunkenly performing a hate crime. So let' s check back in in 2016:

"Free-agent outfielder Delmon Young was arrested Sunday night in Miami and charged with battery after he allegedly choked and threatened a valet attendant, according to multiple reports."

Ruben Amaro: Dancing in Boston

We all saw how happy and care-free Ruben Amaro looks, having gone from the front office of the Phillies to the first base line for the Red Sox. He was profiled in the Boston Globe this week, in which there was a reminder that the days of late starts and clean finger nails are over for RAJ.

"The life of a coach is not a glamorous one. They report to the park six or seven hours before first pitch to break down video, review detailed scouting reports, or work with players. Beyond coaching first base, Amaro will work with the outfielders and instruct players on base running."


"Amaro was a big deal on Broad Street. He won't be on Brookline Ave."

That's right, Ruben. Just wait until you're asleep and all the other coaches kick the door in and dump ice water all over you. Wait until John Farrell makes you do push-ups in front of the whole team while crying just to get back the hoodie you left behind after practice. Wait until they seal the front door of your apartment, paint it the same color as the wall paper, and get all your neighbors to pretend they've never seen you before.

Yeah, coaching doesn't seem so cool now, does it? No matter; anytime someone in Boston gives you crap, just brag that you were the guy who signed away Jonathan Papelbon to a huge contract, that will calm them down.

Chase Utley: Innovating in L.A.

The sport owes you a debt of gratitude for the way you are shaping the game, Chase. Next thing we know, baseball will have a discernible rule about sliding two feet away from the bag and into a defender in the middle of a play.

Jimmy Rollins: Flailing in Free Agency


Does no one really want to sign Jimmy Rollins? Sure, he's a 36-year-old shortstop. Yes, he hit .224 in 144 games last season. But, remember when the acquisition of Freddy Garcia made him call the Phillies "the team to beat" in 2007? Remember how happy everyone was? It all comes back to Freddy Garcia, who is clearly the center of the universe. No wonder he's retiring. He's probably exhausted.

Apparently, Rollins has entered the part of his career when everybody tries to get him to change positions. Ken Rosenthal said people want him to shift to second base, but naturally, Rollins wants to see if any opportunities to play shortstop pop up. In the mean time, he's posting Family Feud clips on Twitter.

The baseball off season! We're all doing our best.