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Now addicted to sweeps, Phillies can do little else vs. Indians

The 2016 Phillies have us too worked up right now to do anything but win every remaining game.

By Justin Klugh
Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

The Phillies: Wow, coming off a sweep of the current division leaders is way better than just eking out a single win against them at the last possible second! The Phillies can do anything right now! Let's beat everyone else on the schedule. No, no - think bigger. We should just OVERTHROW THE CITY GOVERNMENT AND CREATE A NEW ORDER, BASED ON THE PRINCIPLES OF CHAOS AND HORROR AND no that seems a bit much to me, too, sorry.

The Indians: Most of the way through a road trip, Cleveland is sitting pretty on a 4-2 record after traveling through Detroit and Minnesota. LITTLE DO THEY KNOW THE WAILING CRIES THAT AWAIT THEM UPON DEPLANING IN OUR WRETCHED HIVE OF INSANITY THAT WAS ONCE AMERICA'S BIRTHPLACE, sorry, had to try it again, still doesn't feel right. Sorry.

Heavy Hitters

Jose Ramirez (.298/.310/.421): The Indians' left fielder has a habit of streaking.

Tyler Naquin (.333/.350/.436): After his first 17 games in the majors, Cleveland's new center fielder is hitting .333. But how often does he walk? Not all the time? Well, I guess some center fielders are just better than others.

Cameron Rupp (.280/.294/.480): With the bases loaded last night in a key spot, we all turned to one man thought to have the power and hitting prowess to drive in runs. But Darin Ruf struck out or popped out weakly... I don't know, something dumb happened. Discouraged, an even larger man stepped into the batters box. All 240 lbs. of Cameron Rupp hammered a double over Bryce Harper's head and drove in the game's first two runs. Let's all sit here and vigorously remember that moment.

Cesar Hernandez (.292/.338/.361): He may not have any - and I mean not any - idea how to run the bases of a baseball diamond, but Hernandez is hitting .292, and went 5-for-11 with a walk against the Nationals. Not great, but, what the other team would call "annoying," especially when you throw in a defensive, Harper-ruining play like:

Probable Pitchers

Corey Kluber vs. Adam Morgan

Morgan got the call following Charlie Morton's season-ending hamstring injury. We're exactly a month from the day when Morgan found out Vince Velasquez won the final spot in the Phillies rotation, and he was sent packing to Lehigh Valley to hope for his chance, or, you know, this exact situation. In three starts, he slapped together a 3.57 ERA, striking out 20 and walking only four in 17.2 innings of work.

Kluber, on the other hand, has years of established dominance behind him, and since 2014 is actually the current MLB leader in starts with over ten strikeouts and one or fewer walks. "Playing National League teams" and "playing the 2016 Phillies" are not at all synonymous, but if you're easy to thrill, take a gander at these numbers.

Trevor Bauer vs. Jerad Eickhoff

We recently found out that Eickhoff's curveball is not an untouchable masterpiece. Still pretty good though, and each one of these young starters has run into some trouble, as if they're all developing athletes learning the ins and outs of playing on this level, or something. The Brewers hammered him with a pair of doubles and a home run, but in Eickhoff's defense, the homer came from Ryan Braun, who can beat the Phillies at just about any sport of their choosing.

Bauer is replacing the injured Carlos Carrasco, who the Phillies thankfully do not have to face. He hasn't made any starts this year and in 11 innings of work, he's allowed 6 ER, 13 H, 5 BB, and 2 HBP. He is also completely oblivious to the REVOLUTION WE HAVE BEGUN ON OUR BLOODY STREETS.

Danny Salazar vs. Vince Velasquez

Don't you worry about Vince. He's got that 1.78 ERA and 11.7 SO/9 to keep him company as he enters his fifth start.

But Salazar isn't too far behind Velasquez, statistically. He's sporting a 2.35 ERA through four starts and has the, well, his league's best H/9 with 4.3. Which would be bad news if the Phillies weren't a dominant, powerful lineup! Fortunately, Salazar's last start was marred by a return of the high ball count which many had hoped he'd outgrown. Taking the blame for the Indians' 4-3 loss to the Twins, Salazar is, according to the cliche, hoping to bounce back, but having to face a walk-drawing wunderkind like Odubel Herrera may cause his mind to explode.

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