clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Hiding the pain when dealing with baseball

Sometimes you just have to hide the pain when a long baseball season has got you down. Here's how Harold does it.

This is Harold.

He deals with the long Phillies season like most of us, by bottling his emotions and not showing his inner torment.

The Phillies loss has got him down, better call in late to work. Especially since he hasn't washed the vomit off his suit yet.

Finally at work, two and a half hours late, Harold mockingly acts shocked at the Phillies box score. Really he does this to do his best not to flip shit on Beth at work who he has been dating and just never seems to shut the hell up.

You see, Beth is a Mets fan and Harold has little tolerance for that shit, but he loves owning her in go fish.

Harold knows this bitch is cheating, but much like with everything else, he suppresses his rage.

After ruining Beth's self esteem in go fish, it's time for the game and to get shithoused.

Clink, clink Beth you waste, Harold thinks to himself.

With the game over and Harold feeling particularly numb, he tries to get some work done around the house so Beth doesn't jump down his throat.

Luckily Harold has mastered the art of bullshit, so he can get away with hammering straight air. He deals with the Phillies, he can deal with anything.

After another Phillies loss, Harold attempts to measure the fucks he gives. Results come up with zero. Hide the pain.

Harold decides to play a baseball game on Xbox, where the Phillies always win the World Series.

He did it, he won. Harold has an excite.

In a better mood and with his pain temporarily repressed, Harold does some casual reading online.

Harold notices that Buster Olney still won't back down on saying the Phillies are tanking. Harold missed that shit and his anger is rising once again.

Harold now has to calculate how much money he is going to have to spend today on alcohol.

Beth sees that Harold's browser history is littered with dank Phillies memes. She doesn't know how she feels.

Oh, but look, a kitten .gif, Harold is saved.

Beth is sorry that the Mets keep winning and the Phillies lost last night, so she tries to console him with things that eventually die, just like his will to live.

Harold wakes up hungover after another rough night of watching baseball. A 5-1 loss to the Braves and the offense only got 2 hits? Harold doesn't need help from the hangover to throw up everywhere.

Just one won't cut it, Harold knows this.

Prescription only? Harold doesn't give a shit.

Here is Harold all bundled up to avoid the cold barren wasteland that is his emotions.

So when baseball has got you down, remember that Harold is on this long journey with you.