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The Monday Gush: Everyone hates bottle guy!

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Here's your weekly injection of GOOD Phillies news! Sit still. SIT STILL.

via @btrace98

The Phillies hit back to back home runs for the first time!

Jimmy Paredes and Cameron Rupp's titanic shots against the Brewers on Sunday would have been back-to-back-to-back if a fan hadn't fondled Tommy Joseph's ball to right center out of the sky.

Thanks, idiot!

Everyone hates that guy who threw a bottle at Ryan Howard!

Some people saw a fan had thrown a Bud Light Lime bottle at Ryan Howard during Saturday's game and viewed it as an opportunity to shame Phillies fans, the majority of whom have never thrown a bottle at anybody. Other people - largely Phillies fans - expressed pure disgust at the man's actions, as well as his wardrobe choices, beer preferences, and general s***iness of him and his entire life. Then, we all started circulating a picture of the guy so the Phillies could send the Phanatic to his house to punch him in the stomach in front of his parents (while his parents cheered).

Go to hell, guy!

Maikel Franco hit another home run!

In non-deplorable ass-head news, Maikel Franco is heating up, just in time for the Cubs to come to town. In fact, a couple of people are pounding concentrated evil into the baseballs of late, including Cameron Rupp, who deposited a Neil Ramirez offering about twenty rows into the outfield seats. Even Jimmy Paredes got in on the action, and I forgot he was there. In fact,

The Phillies finally achieved a bunch of basic offensive achievements!

This happened!

Look at this Freddy Galvis play!

It's unlikely that anyone hates base runners more than Freddy Galvis. At one error in 48 games, it's no surprise that his manager thinks he's the absolute tits.

David Lough made a nice catch too!

Nice to see David doing something worth capturing in an infinite loop. He's gone now, though.

Rhys Hoskins was noted for his accomplishments!

The Phillies No. 19 prospect hit his tenth, eleventh, and twelfth home runs of the season in the last two games, one of which being Saturday's walk-off win over New Hampshire!

Tommy Joseph hits a ton!

The Phillies' rookie first baseman had multi-hit games in three of the four appearances he made against the Brewers. It was four singles in games one and two, followed by a and another single and an additional crushed almost-dinger in game four. In the third game, he only went 1-for-4... with a 424-foot solo shot.

Ryan Howard is going to reappear eventually, but the Phillies did not intend on him having much playing time during this Brewers series. He will see the field against the Cubs "at some point," but not against Jon Lester.