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For the birds: Rockies 8, Phillies 3

Honestly, the highlight of this game was an actual hawk flying in and watching the festivities.

MLB: Philadelphia Phillies at Arizona Diamondbacks Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Well, the highlight of this game was a hawk taking up residence in the stadium, and Tommy Joseph hitting another homer. Of course, the homer came at a point when the game could have been won for the Phillies. So it was a moment of hope instead of me yelling at the screen “DON’T WASTE IT ON THIS SHITTY GAME, DON’T WASTE IT!”

Things started out well enough for Jerad Eickhoff, who was cruising through four innings when he gave up a two-run home run to Tyler Anderson, THE ROCKIES’ PITCHER. YUP. It tied the game, which was fine at the time, but that was the first and only sign we’d have of what was to come.

And what was to come? An absolute meltdown from poor Jerad Eickhoff. To start the sixth, he gave up two straight hits, a single and a double. A groundout scored a run, which was okay. So the Rockies were leading by one. It’s Coors Field! Then he hit Trevor Story with a pitch, and walked the next guy. So the bases were loaded, no big deal! Eickhoff could get out of it!

Only on the very next batter, he walked in a run. Honestly, I would have yanked him then, when the Rockies were only leading by two. But Mackanin kept Eickhoff in, and he gave up a triple to Tony Wolters (who??????) that cleared the bases and scored all three runners on base. With the score now 7-2, Mack replaced him with Severino Gonzalez, who promptly gave up a double to push the score to 8-2.

Yeah, it was bad.

That’s really all she wrote. The Phillies would score on a groundout in the eighth, but after the sixth inning there was almost no chance they were going to come back from a six-run deficit.

Hopefully they can get a win today and split the series before taking their mini All-Star break vacation.