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Tommy Boy: Phillies 5, Rockies 3

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Oh Tommy boy, the pipes the pipes are calling...

MLB: Atlanta Braves at Philadelphia Phillies Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Because at nearly 33 years old I’m apparently an old woman now, I fell asleep before the game ended.

I will give you a moment to boo me appropriately.

[place boos here]

I’ll spare you all the monologue about what my life has come to, how the Bad Phillies stole my youth and all that, and just get to the game.

WOE IS ME, MY YOUNG DAYS ARE GONE, SOMEONE GET ME SOME OVALTINE AND SIX BLANKETS.

Okay, that’s all, I promise.

A night after getting their asses whomped by the Rockies, the Phillies narrowly beat them 5-3. It was no one’s best night, to be honest. With the exception of Tyler Goeddel’s game-saving catch in the eighth inning and Tommy Joseph’s seventh inning pinch-hit homer, there wasn’t much to write home about.

Vince Velasquez was constantly playing with fire, allowing eight hits over six innings, but only two runs crossed the plate. So at least there’s that. The Phillies themselves were held to just seven hits, but they exploded in the seventh for four runs. Cameron Rupp started with a walk, and after Ryan Howard struck out (I mean, of course), Freddy Galvis singled. Cesar Hernandez singled himself, bringing in the Phillies’ first run of the night.

And then, with two men on base, Tommy Joseph came in to pinch hit for Vince Velasquez, and he hit a homer off of Jake McGee.

One more run would score in the ninth on a scoring error, but they wouldn’t need it. Jeanmar Gomez (::swoon::) closed it out with a one-hit, no-run inning.

I love it when the Phillies win. Join us tonight at 8:40 when the Phillies will try to do it again!