Well rested following their off day, numerous starters out, Jeremy Hellickson miraculously in one piece, Odubel Herrera trade hypotheticals swirling, and still 41 games remaining. What in gods’ name are we supposed to do with a weekend series with the Rockies? Survive, I suppose; and watch Jim Thome smile and look at a plaque. That’s... fine.
It was early July - you remember early July, don’t you? We weren’t on fire then - the last time we saw the Rockies. They are 9.5 games out of the NL West race and about to lose Mark Reynolds to the DL. There also may be some more... serious... problems... afoot...
Charlie Blackmon: This man is 16-for-34 in the past week, with three home runs, two doubles, and a triple. Some of these hits came in 105-degree Texas heat. God only knows what he can accomplish when it’s only a paltry 95 degrees in Philly.
Nolan Arenado: At this point, it’s unclear what you’re supposed to do to stop Arenado from getting so powerful that he just turns into another sun.
One of the weird/cool things about Nolan Arenado:— Purple Dinosaur Pod. (@purpledinocast) August 12, 2016
His average EACH of the last 3 seasons: .287.
His OPS by season: .828, .898, .930
D.J. LeMahieu: There’s a sociopath on the Rockies right now who just stands there with the bat and calmly watches baseball happen. This strategy has resulted in seven walks in the past week, and with the ten hits in same time span, he’s been on base a lot since last weekend, expressionless and ready to burn it all down, if he has to, for any reason.
Carlos Ruiz: Maybe it was the forthcoming alumni weekend, which they will undoubtedly be a part of in the years to come, but the Phillies’ vets have turned it on over the last week. Of course, in their limited playing time, it’s easy to inflate Ruiz’s numbers (4-for-6, 2 BB, 3 R) but to that I say Choooooooooooooooooooooooo
Ryan Howard: Same goes for Howard, who has found an air bubble in the suffocating ineffectiveness that has defined him late in his career. Since the All-Star Game, he’s hitting .350 with a 1.116 OPS and 4 HR.
Freddy Galvis: No one is going to make the mistake of thinking Freddy has this hitting thing figured out, but seeing him slug a couple of homers, as well as two doubles, is at the very least foolishly encouraging.
Jim Thome: Probably the best Phillies hitter in the ballpark tonight.
Jon Gray vs. Jake Thompson, 7:05 p.m.
If there is a script the Phillies have followed this season, it’s watching a young starter get torched in his debut and then progressively improve through the rest of his appearances. So that means tonight will be the beginning of the Jake Thompson renaissance, or Jake Thomp-aissance, if you will (or more likely, absolutely will not). That Padres game is over. Meanwhile, Gray got bonked in his last start with ten runs - eight earned - through only 3.2 innings.
Tyler Anderson vs. Jerad Eickhoff, 7:05 p.m.
Anderson has some far more formidable numbers than his predecessor, posting a 3.04 season ERA with 3.8 SO/W. But he’s never pitched at Citizens Bank Park before, so let’s assume that will lead to trouble for him. I don’t mean from the Phillies offense, necessarily. Maybe one of those weirdly aggressive Philadelphia squirrels will get him.
Eickhoff is the only young starter to not hit the DL this season, and I’d like to apologize to him for damning him onto it by saying that just now. He’s been pretty consistent, with a 3.78 ERA on the season and only a 3.72 ERA in the second half. Opponents are only baffled by Jeremy Hellickson more than Eickhoff, hitting .241 against the 26-year-old like a bunch of idiots.
Tyler Chatwood vs. TBA, 1:35 p.m.
Yeah, given the smoking craters remaining in the Phillies rotation, this was bound to happen. There is currently no one on the docket for Sunday, but the current guess is
Chatwood is coming off the best home performance of his career, having pitched to a 5.72 ERA at Coors Field entering his last start. Here’s hoping he hasn’t gotten his awe-inspiring command all the way back.
Editor's Note: FanDuel is SB Nation's exclusive daily fantasy partner. New players win cash in their first league or get their entry fee refunded! Offered in partnership with FanDuel. Here's the link.