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At least it wasn't a walk-off: Mets 10, Phillies 5

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Ugggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Philadelphia Phillies v New York Mets Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Computer, couple you bring up the standard Phillies recap template?

*****

It was a bad night for the Phillies. Pitcher Jeremy Hellickson allowed six runs over 4 13 innings, and nearly everyone who followed him was also bad. (Other options: putrid, irredeemable, gross, terrible, soul sucking, [vomit noise].) Frank Herrmann gave up a run in just 23 of an inning. Colton Murray pitched an inning and also gave up a run. Partick Schuster didn't even record an out and gave up two runs in the process. Severino Gonzalez pitched the only clean outing of the night: two innings, no runs, thank the lord.

It (probably) wasn't all bad. I mean, I don't know. This is a template, after all. I'm not all knowing. Something good most likely happened, or at least something that wasn't bad.

Template, you are correct. Maikel Franco hit a home run, and it was awesome. Darin Ruf still exists, and hit a pinch hit home run. Cody Asche tried to justify his existence with one hit, but he failed. Keep trying, Cody. Freddy Galvis had two hits and he is great. But none of this was enough to make up for the ten runs the Mets scored.

The Mets scored ten runs on ten hits. The Phillies? Five runs on ten hits.

Woof. Is the season over yet?

*****

Thank you, computer. That’ll be all.