Phillies top draft pick Mickey Moniak has name tattooed on friend’s butt

The human butt.

For centuries, it has been deemed the body’s messenger; the medium countless solid decision-makers have chosen to convey a message that in many cases few will see. Experts, observing the practice since the dawn of time, have theorized that scrawling a dispatch on the buttocks has traditionally been so that the owner may feel they have a secret both from and to themselves.

In June, we were informed of a gentlemen’s wager between the Phillies top draft pick, outfielder Mickey Moniak, and a pal: Were Moniak to be drafted in the top 10, the friend would get his name tattooed on nature’s billboard. The buzz around Moniak was ominously high at the time for anyone who’d made butt-centric bets regarding the 18-year-old’s draft placement, and sure enough, the Phillies took him first.

And so, late last evening:

We salute you, Ethan. It is always pleasing to see that a young part of this team’s future comes from a place of honor.