Criminal Noah Syndergaard steals Phillie Phanatic’s ATV

Noah Syndergaard is from Mansfield, Texas, and most Texans I’ve ever met believe that stealing is wrong.

“Thou shalt not steal.” I think I read that somewhere.

Someone needs to tell the man known affectionately (by some) as “Thor,” Mr. Syndergaard, that theft of personal property is not something society is going to tolerate.

And when the item stolen is the ATV driven by the Phillie Phanatic, well then we’re going to insist on some hard jail time.

Shortly before last night’s series opener between the Phillies and Mets, the Phanatic was having some fun with outfielder Curtis Granderson. All the Phanatic was trying to do was help Granderson stretch his legs, make sure he was physically fit to partake in the spirited athletic match-up that was forthcoming.

“Thor” decided to feloniously use the Phanatic’s good will and kindness towards Granderson against him.

“Thor” is no hero. He is the villain.

Notice the look of sheer panic and worry that is splashed across the Phanatic’s adorable green face as he watches his beloved be ridden off by the wanna-be Avenger.

Fortunately, the Phanatic’s ATV was returned to him with no harm done. But payback must come, and it must come swiftly.

In light of the new Thor 3 trailer that was released on Monday, it’s clear what needs to happen.

The Phanatic needs to get mad.

It’s time for the Phanatic to armor-up and cut off those long, flowing, Samson-like locks of Syndergaard, in a battle to the death.

It’s time for a little payback.