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Game Re-Crap: Rockies 7, Phillies 2

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Try to contain your shock....

MLB: Colorado Rockies at Philadelphia Phillies Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

The Phillies played Wednesday night.

It went how you imagined it would. There were some mildly interesting parts. Michael Saunders might a nice play. If you saw the video (it won’t embed, so here’s a link), Nolan Arenado, victim of Saunders’ newfound defensive prowess, says something to his first base coach. Now, I can’t lip read, but I’m pretty sure Arenado said, “You know, that Michael Saunders....that guy’s alright,” but I could be mistaken. Plus, he homered! This will henceforth be known as the Michael Saunders Game.

Adam Morgan came to the rescue in and pitched some very effective baseball. Three innings, three hits and no runs is nothing to sneeze at, folks! Get on board the Morgan Express!

That was it. Those are the highlights.

Well, the real highlights of the night came via Twitter. Twitter is always a place where calm, measured approaches take hold among those fans of the team. When I am down about my hometown nine, I know I can rely on the social media giant to lift my spirits. As the game wore on though, it was interesting to watch the opinions of teams begin a steady swirl downward. The takes began to register into different categories.

Behold.

The tweet from hours before the game that (almost) correctly predicted the exact outcome:

The hopeless questioning of why people can be so bad at their chosen profession:

The pathetic resignation of people continuing to ingest the macabre:

The blueprint for a return to glory (with a dash of racial insensitivity to boot!):

The inevitable plea for the cavalry to ride in from Millville, NJ to save the day:

The genuinely creative attempts at humor.....

.....the swings and misses at humor.....

.....and the outright blasphemous “humor”.

It’s not a great time to be a Phillies fan right now. Look to the football team and we see a cornerstone player this organization lacks that can has the potential to lead its current downtrodden group back to glory. In the hockey/basketball arena, each of those teams has one, perhaps two, such players. Players that inspire real hope. We are left to watch and hope that such a player presents himself soon.

In the meantime, we as fans soldier on. You and I both know we’ll tune into the next game. And the game after that. And the game after that. Why? Because we are fans. We must keep the faith. We have to. If you need help, just do this: