Like a Doll’s Eyes: Marlins 7, Phillies 2

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but the Philadelphia Phillies are absolutely terrible.

You are likely are aware of this. And you probably, wisely, didn’t waste your evening watching this game. Fortunately for you (and unfortunately for me), I did.

They barely wasted any time getting to the losing.

Starter Vince Velasquez managed to post a scoreless 1st inning, but surrendered a home run to the first batter he faced in the second (Marcell Ozuna). He would only see two more batters before exiting the game with an apparent injury that turned out to be a right elbow flexor strain. Which is... not great.

Anyway, Mark Leiter Jr. came in to relieve his starter in the 2nd inning. He got through the inning, but not before the Justin Bour scored a run on a fielding error by Cesar Hernandez.

The 3rd inning was really where the Marlins started cooking: a Dee Gordon single, a Giancarlo Stanton Home Run, a Christian Yellich double, a Marcell Ozuna single, a Justin Bour walk, and a J. T. Realmuto walk with the bases loaded made it 5-0 Marlins. Joely Rodriguez became the Phillies’ third pitcher of the night. Another Marlins single and a throwing error by Cameron Rupp on a ground bunt gave the Fish an additional 2 runs.

In the 4th inning, the Phillies had their first notable offensive moment, when Howie Kendrick, fresh off the DL, homered to lead things off at the top of the inning. Aaron Altherr followed up with a single, and the lineup seemed to be showing signs of life, finally. Then came Tommy Joseph who erased Altherr with a double play and Cameron Rupp with a strikeout.

The 5th-7th passed by unremarkably. Honeslty it took everything in me to keep my attention on the game.

The Phillies showed signs of life again in the 8th when pitcher Brian Ellington issued three consecutive walks to load the bases with no outs. The Phillies managed to convert a bases loaded, no outs situation into precisely one (1) run, on an Odubel Herrera sacrifice fly. Howie Kendrick and Aaron Altherr flied out and struck out, respectively.

Our Old Friend Vance Worley faced his former team in the 9th, setting the Phillies down in order to put the final nail on the coffin of this putrid game.

The Phillies have 6 wins in the month of May. They did not get their 7th tonight, and it is highly unlikely that they will tomorrow.

This marks their 10th consecutive series loss.