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Phillies news and links — Aaron Altherr, god among men

Aaron Altherr is handsome and talented and today we’re talking about it.

Washington Nationals v Philadelphia Phillies Photo by Hunter Martin/Getty Images

Good morning, and happy Monday! Let’s get right into it.

Aaron Altherr, god among men

Aaron Altherr, whose bat has been hotter than the sun lately, came off the bench yesterday after sitting out (most of) the game due to a sore wrist. He came off the bench, walked up to the plate, and did this.

He IS magic!

I didn’t embed that tweet because of the absolutely insane, ridiculous, almost pointless stat (seriously, I hate stats like that). I embedded it because Aaron Altherr is a handsome, handsome man. Look at that smile! Look at it! It makes my heart flutter.

Let’s talk about Aaron Altherr’s nickname

First, it needs to be said that the Phillies Twitter account is so much better than it’s ever been. Ever. In the entire history of the account. But they’re trying to push a nickname for Aaron Altherr that is far too wordy to stick.

Fresh Prince of Altherr. No. I admire the effort and cleverness, but no. There’s a better option, invented by (I believe) Brad Engler from Crashburn Alley.

The Rhineland Rocket is so, so much better. Live it, learn it, love it.

Shut up, Max Scherzer

I admire the attempted troll game, but call me when you win a postseason series. Or when you turn into Joey Votto, master troller. Until then? Maybe shut it.

Shut up, Mike Schmidt

CSNPhilly likes their crotchety old broadcasters.

I’m guessing he was annoyed because it was a sacrifice fly that Freddy Galvis was getting doused for. And if that’s true, honestly, just shut up. Really. I know back in your day they didn’t celebrate anything because you were hard working emotionless men and getting excited was undignified and wins shouldn’t be celebrated but picked apart so everyone can see how they can do better. But those days are over. They’re over and they’re not coming back. So get over it and move on with your anti-celebration bullshit.

Seriously he’s so bad.

Tweet of the day

I don’t agree with Brian Kenny about much, but this is a no brainer.

I don’t think it’s a courageous thing to say, mostly because it’s so unbelievably obvious. But I’m glad he said it.