Home runs for everyone: Phillies 7, Padres 1

Nick Williams and his mouth full of teeth (seriously, he has a lot of teeth) hit his very first major league home run today, and he led the Phillies to a homer-tastic 7-1 win over the Padres.

Let’s talk about each one, shall we?

1. In the bottom of the second, Nick Williams had his major league home run virginity taken from him with a solo shot.
2. Just one batter later in the second inning, Cameron Rupp became momentarily useful when he hit a home run, too!
3. In the third inning, Freddy Galvis absolutely launched a ball into the second deck for a two-run homer.
4. In the sixth, Odubel Herrera yanked a solo homer of his own.
5. In the seventh inning, Aaron Altherr wanted to join the party so he hit a homer.
6. And then Freddy Galvis closed out the home run party with his second homer of the game.

And I’d love to show you any of these home runs. But because MLB Advanced Media is full of butts, and because the Phillies Twitter account is also excited about the All-Star break and didn’t post any videos of the homers, I can’t. So just imagine them in your head, and also imagine the legal idiots at MLBAM living their lives with actual butt faces.

The Phillies’ six-homer day inspired the beat writers to look back into the annals of Phillies games and find out the last time a six-homer game happened.

Okay, the most amazing thing about that is RANDY WOLF HIT TWO HOME RUNS!

Today’s game was mostly about the hitting, but there was pitching to be had, too. Jerad Eickhoff threw a little gem of a start, which is tremendous since it’s his first one since coming off the DL. Five innings and five hits, but here are the real impressive stats: one walk and eight strikeouts. It was so, so good to see.

And between the great pitching and hitting, the Phillies had a tremendous time in the dugout today.

The All-Star break is here, friends. We made it, and we made it together. And I’m so glad we got to close out the first half on this game.