Rhys Hoskins did it again: Phillies 7, Cubs 1

RHYS HOSKINS

RHYS HOSKINS

RHYS HOSKINS

Now that I’ve got your attention, allow me to give you more information about how Rhys Hoskins did tonight.

I mean, do you really even care about what else happened in this game?

Of course you do, that’s why you’re here. But will you care after you see this!?!?!?!?!

Okay, you probably still care about what happened in this game. So let’s talk about the scoring. Beyond Hoskins’ first inning two-run homer, the Phillies scored four runs in the second off of three singles, a walk, and a triple. It was so marvelous to see the Phillies break out against the Cubs, who had Jose Quintana on the mound tonight. He’s a legitimately excellent pitcher, so the Phillies’ success was a gift from the baseball gods. And later in the game, Maikel Franco hit a homer, which was super wonderful.

There was, of course, some badness. As there must always be. In the fourth inning the Phillies suffered two TOOTBLANS, and they were pretty embarrassing. First, Cesar Hernandez led off with a double but overran the base. He literally ran past it, taking a couple of steps completely off of it. And Javy Baez took advantage, tagging Cesar as he desperately tried to get his hand back on the base. He was called out but might have been safe, but it was so close that the Phillies chose not to review it.

And the second TOOTBLAN... oh the second TOOTBLAN. Freddy Galvis, who had a great night besides this, was on third base. Rhys Hoskins was batting, and he had a 3-1 count. What is the one thing you don’t want Galvis to do there? Well, he did it. Jose Quintana threw a pitch, which was outside, and Galvis bluffed like he was running home. But he stopped about halfway and... saw something shiny? Lost interest? Who knows. But the pitch came in and Galvis didn’t keep going home. He broke back and got caught in a rundown. Womp womp.

But hey. The Phillies won. Now they won’t get swept. And in the end, that’s all I care about.

Oh, I also care about this.

SWOON.