Shut up, Hansel Robles: Phillies 6, Mets 2

I want to make something clear: I don’t hate all of the Mets. I don’t even hate some of the Mets. I like enough of them individually, like Jacob deGrom and Noah Syndergaard and David Wright and probably some other guy with ridiculous hair or whoever, so saying I hate all of the Mets isn’t accurate.

But Hansel Robles can go jump in a lake right now. The Mets relief pitcher always finds a way to be annoying and chirp at the Phillies. He did it tonight, yelling at the Phillies and causing their dugout to chirp at him after two Phillies took him deep. It was stupid, and resulted in warnings for both benches. Just because Robles seemed to take offense to the Phillies hitting home runs off of him when he delivered two truly shitty pitches.

I hate Hansel Robles. One day, he’ll cause a legitimate brawl. And I’ll keep my feelings about that to myself. But I bet you can fill in the blanks.

Anyway, enough about that annoying hamsterface. The Phillies won 6-2. And they did it on the back of three homers. Maikel Franco hit a two-run homer, and Cesar Hernandez and Jorge Alfaro both hit solo shots. In fact, Alfaro’s homer came off of Robles.

No, I haven’t watched this fifty times. And you can’t prove I have.

In fact, Alfaro had a great night. He went two-for-three with a walk (and that home run up there), and doesn’t understand what it means to not run out every ball to first base.

The ball was a pop-up, but Alfaro didn’t give a shit. He ran hard and it paid off. The ball dropped between two clueless Mets fielders and Alfaro had a double. God I love him. I love him so much.

Ben Lively had another good night. He went six innings and allowed two homers, but those were the only runs the Mets would score off him. In fact, they were the only runs the Mets would score all night. The Phillies bullpen was strong, as they’ve been all September. Adam Morgan, Luis Garcia, and Edubray Ramos did their thing, and it was marvelous.

But seriously, Hansel Robles sucks. He’s lucky Larry Bowa didn’t come out of the dugout to yell directly into his face until he was dead. That’s what Bowa can do. His angry voice kills.