The Phillies as Halloween Candy

It’s Halloween! And how better to celebrate the holiday than by comparing some Phillies players to Halloween candy? (Apologies to Zoo With Roy who probably did something similar back in the day.)

Gabe Kapler: Payday

Once you bite into it, you quickly realize that it’s almost completely nuts.

Jake Arrieta: Hershey Bar

Has a reputation as being great and one of the best candies around, but you eventually realize that it’s really kind of ordinary.

Odubel Herrera: Candy Corn

Probably the most divisive candy out there. Some people swear by it, and think it’s great, others don’t want any part of it.

Carlos Santana: Jolly Ranchers

Supposedly one of the best selling Halloween candies, but the numbers may not tell the whole story. If you buy Jolly Ranchers, you’re left with a feeling that the money might have been spent on something better.

Rhys Hoskins: Almond Joy

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. Similarly, sometimes you can be one of the best hitters in baseball, and sometimes you can go through week-long slumps.

Nick Williams: Butterfinger

If you’ve ever watched Williams play the outfield, this one doesn’t require much explanation.

Tommy Hunter: Oh Henry

Is anyone actually happy to see an Oh Henry bar in their stash of candy? If someone gave you one, you’d question why they thought this was the best option.

Seranthony Dominguez: Sour Patch Kids

These are amazing in small doses, but if you eat too many of them, they lose their effectiveness, and you start to wish you had waited a little longer before having them again.

Asdrubal Cabrera: Mounds

Garbage candy. Get it the heck away from my trick-or-treat bag.

Maikel Franco: Take 5

At first glance, Take 5 seems to have all the necessary ingredients to be one of the best candies around. But for some reason, it can’t seem to take that next step into the upper echelon.

Roman Quinn: Kit Kat

As the commercial says, Kit Kats break easily.

Scott Kingery: Three Musketeers

It seems like it should be one of the best candies, which makes it that much more disappointing when it isn’t good.

Aaron Nola: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Simply the best candy out there, and anyone who suggests otherwise isn’t worth listening to.

Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images for Reese’s

Whatever your candy preference, here’s wishing you a Happy Halloween!