Sewage: Braves 15, Phillies 2

The headline should make clear my opinion of this game. It was bad in many ways.

It was bad in all the ways.

Except one. Scott Kingery, Rhys Hoskins and Carlos Santana continue to hit; with Kingery recording his second two-hit game in a row, Hoskins with an RBI in his third consecutive game, and Santana with another double. So that wasn’t bad.

But the game was bad in all the other ways.

All the sewagey ways.

Vince Velasquez seemed to be bitten by bad luck in the first inning, with a weak Ozzie Albies groundout turning into a triple after taking a weird ricochet off second base. Velasquez limited the damage to one run, but was never able to get back into a rhythm, and was pulled after 69 pitches with two outs in the third. He struck out four, but walked two and was tagged for nine hits.

With the bullpen already well-used after yesterday, Hoby Milner was called on to face Freddie Freeman, and things went from bad to weird. It seems Milner hadn’t actually been warmed up yet, and stalled a bit upon being called in. Braves Manager Brian Snitker took exception to this violation of the pace of play rules, and, as normal adults do, immediately stormed on to the field to create a longer delay.

As you do. Also I have decided that new name is actually Brain Stinker, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

There really weren’t any other highlights. There were some lowlights, I suppose. I guess infielder Pedro Florimon pitching the last inning is arguably a highlight. He’s the first position player to pitch this year, after all.

So there’s that.

This was a bad game.

But it’s also worth remembering that it was a bad game, and if your reaction to one bad game (or even three bad games) is to declare the season over and demand Kapler’s firing, you’re doing it wrong. The season isn’t over, and Gabe Kapler shouldn’t be fired over this. Look, the Phillies made four errors today and allowed 15 runs. That’s not on the manager. That’s a shitty performance that would not be made better if you replaced Kapler with Charlie Manuel or me or Doug Pederson or some racist Hall of Fame manager from the nineteenth century.

They might get to the point where Kapler deserves to be fired, but it is sure as hell not happening in March. Or April. Or May or June or July. Or anytime this year.

Also because I am grumpy and for some reason volunteered to not only write this recap but spend a couple hours inside our sewage treatment plant on Friday, here is a picture of sewage.

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Update: Kapler took responsibility for not having Milner warming up in time. Umpire Crew Chief Jerry Layne acknowledged letting the Phillies get away with breaking the rule to prevent Milner from getting hurt. What a mess.