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Hey Doc, Thanks for seeing me on short notice. You might remember back in 2013 I started writing game recaps of Phillies games for the Good Phight? {Doc - I recall, I picked the wrong year to quit drinking}. Yeah, well, we’re here for me, Doc, please. Focus. Well, that year I recapped 14 games and they lost every single one. {Doc - I remember, it got so bad you started recapping the games by not really even talking about them and instead escaping to an alternate reality} Yeah, Doc. Hell, once I didn’t even bother finishing the score in the title. {Doc - I know, it’s what makes you a great witer.} Shove it, Doc. If I wanted sarcasm, I’d be talking to an auto mechanic.
Anyway in 2014 I went 2-1. I kept finding reasons not to recap, you know? Too painful. I just couldn’t do it. I managed to avoid recapping any games in 2015 or 2016, then in 2017, I tried to recap again and went 0-fer in 2 games. I’m 2-17 for my career. {Doc - Yeah, you’re the Cleveland Browns of Phillies recaps.} Seriously, Doc. You’re not helping matters here. I mean, in 2013 I figured I was cursed. Like hardcore billy goat at Wrigley being walked around by the ghost of the Bambino wearing Billy Penn’s hat level stuff. But, in 2018 the Phillies are good and they’re on the verge of sweeping the Nats, so I need to get my recapping game back on.
So I decided today was the day to get back on the horse and went great Doc, let me tell ya. {Doc - I’m sure I have no choice. Want a glass? No? Suit yourself. I was saving this for a special occasion, but I think I’m going to need it.} Doc, please, I’m not here to listen to your problems. This is me time, man. I can’t be drinking with you and going off on wild flights of drunken fancy. There’s serious baseball and breakdowns to talk about here. {Doc - :shrugs: Eh, whatever.}
So anyway, It started great. Nick Pivetta was dealing. He got Harper to chase a downright filthy Curveball in the First and he didn’t let up through the Third. Meanwhile Hoskins cranked a 2 run Homer to put the Phillies up in the Third Inning. Pivetta gave up a solo homer and got seeing eye singled to death in the Fourth when the rain cause him to lose some grip and shape on his Curve, but after a rain delay Pivetta cam back strong and retired the side with 3 K’s. {Doc - Whooo! Free K’s for everyone.} :Sigh: No, not ‘fr..’. Nevermind, you should slow down. I have a long way to go here. It was all okay though, because the Phillies came out in the Fifth with a friggin’ vengeance. With 2 outs, Cesar and Rhys both got on, then Herrera hit a rocket down the Right Field line for a Triple to clear the bases. I was feeling pretty good, as Pivetta was still dealing and they fought right back into the lead. Then Nick Williams crushed a ball to straight away Center into the batter’s eye. {Doc - My god, is he okay?} Who? {Doc - The batter.} Funny, Doc.
Then in the bottom of the 6th, Davis and Ramos combined to give up 3 runs. I gotta admit it doc, I started pacing around a lot and mumbling to myself. Still, they got out of it. I mean, I’m certainly not actually cursed. Even if I am, this certainly couldn’t devolve into some kind of wild dissociative fantasy world type thing. That would be crazy. {Doc - :snooring:} Hey, I’m not here to watch you sleep, you #$&%. {Doc - Of course not. My bad. Why should one of us get to have any joy in life. Go ahead} Wow, that’s dark Doc. You should talk to someone and get rid of stressors in your life. Anyway, back to me.
Things went fine for the 7th. I mean the bats for the Phillies went quiet, but so did the Nats bats. {Doc - Ha, you poet and not know it. :burp:} Seriously, Doc, slow down, man. Then came the bottom of the 8th... It just fell apart, Doc. Arano came in and got an out, but also walked the pinch hitter. then the reliable Seranthony came in... {Doc - Hopkins? Well, that can’t go well. He’s gotta be a hundred. Did he have fava beans?} No, Doc and it’s.. Ugghh, nevermind. This whole thing is getting ridiculous. Anyway, Ser... Dominguez got Trea Turner, but then after a hit by Harper and an intentional walk of Soto, Daniel Murphy went golfing and hit the ugliest, luckiest, bloopiest little junk single to Right to score Goodwin and Harper. Nats lead. {Doc - And how did you handle that?} Terribly. I actually punched my own leg like an idiot and went to sit and mumble in the corner for a couple minutes. Then Michael Taylor singled to drive in Soto.
I came real close to breaking, Doc, but I held it together. Doc? Hey, wake up. I feel like you can’t seem to keep a logically consistent level here, keep it together. Then in the 9th Sean Doolittle had some control issues that offered hope as Cesar worked a 2-2 count before ripping a ball to 3rd that somehow Rendon stopped before it wrecked his face and still got a strong throw to First to just barely get Cesar out. Then Rhys worked what seemed like a 100 pitch at bat, including a ball he hit damn near out of the stadium, but just foul, before he also grounded out. The Odubel went down meekly with a 0-3 Strikeout. {Doc - :Snooring:) Wake up, Doc. I’m proud of myself here. I finished recapping my 18th loss and I didn’t go into a fantasy world or suffer any seriously weird meltdown. It’s a new me, Doc, I’m no longer suffering blogger PTSD. {Doc - Okay, two things I really need to say here, kid. First: Doc is a nickname, you know I’m not actually a doctor right? Second: This is all in your head. You’ve gone mad, mad I say bwahahahahahahaha}