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Game Thread 7/28: Phillies at Reds

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Welcome, Asdrúbal Cabrera!

MLB: Philadelphia Phillies at Cincinnati Reds David Kohl-USA TODAY Sports

TO THE FRAT BOY IDIOTS HECKLING RHYS HOSKINS FROM THEIR SEATS IN LEFT FIELD:

You can run, but you can’t hide, and I will find you and MAKE YOU APOLOGIZE TO HIM FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE.

...

Okay, I probably won’t be able to find any of those sad moron boys. But what they did was a TRAVESTY okay it was mostly just shitty and in bad taste. But it was the final straw after the Phillies almost nearly came back from losing. Hopefully tonight, no comeback will be necessary.

Hey look, there’s a new guy! And he looks... weird! Seriously, look at that lineup with him as the center square of the Brady Bunch. He looks like a muppet! He looks like an actual muppet. (I know he’s not a muppet, but now I’m imagining how amazing it would be if he was.)

Best of luck to Asdrúbal Cabrera in his Phillies debut, and to Vinny Velasquez as he tries to keep his train of good starts rolling along. And now that I’ve said that, I’m sure both will fall into hidden sinkholes or volcano openings before the night is through.

Discuss the game in the comments below.