There is no such thing as an unearned run: Mets 24, Phillies 4

I don’t want to talk about this game.

I really don’t.

And let’s be honest, do you want to talk about this game? Like, really?

I’ll keep it short. The defense completely and thoroughly failed. It was gross, it was messy, and it all could have been avoided if the Phillies were able to play even passable defense. But they couldn’t, and that’s what started them down the road to a 24-4 loss.

Well, actually it started before that. It was Ranger Suarez, who was the opposite of impressive today in his start. It was him, and Gabe Kapler not pulling him soon enough in the fifth inning.

The fifth inning.

That is an inning that Trev and Justin will someday cover on The Dirty Inning, mark my words. Ranger Suarez was pulled after allowing two singles, a double, and a balk (he’d allow eight runs on the day, one which was brought in by said balk) and was replaced by Mark Leiter Jr. And Leiter combined with the defense allowed eight runs to cross the plate in the inning. (One belonged to Suarez.)

None of the runs Leiter allowed on his watch were earned, despite barely looking like a passable major league pitcher for the entirety of his outing.

It just got worse. The Phillies added no additional runs, and the Mets kept piling on. When Roman Quinn came out to pitch the seventh inning, I was beyond done with this game. But then Kapler sent him out there for the eighth, which was just bullshit. It was bullshit. I’m not going to ask you to pardon my language, because it was bullshit. Poor Roman couldn’t find the plate and allowed five runs in the eighth on top of the two in the seventh.

Kapler finally took mercy on Quinn, who is not a pitcher and shouldn’t be expected to do that, and replaced him with Scott Kingery. Kingery didn’t want anything to do with pitching, so he just lobbed the ball up there like he was playing a game of catch with a little leaguer. He pitched the ninth, allowed two runs, and finally it was over.

That’s how bad this game was. It was so bad that the Facebook broadcast was maybe the best thing about it.

There are no unearned runs. The Phillies, in one way or another, earned every run the Mets scored. Whether it was the continually embarrassing defense or Mark Leiter Jr. stinking up the joint or Gabe Kapler making Roman Quinn pitch 1.2 innings, every run was earned by a decision or action from the Phillies. This game was embarrassing. There are no unearned runs.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to drink bourbon straight from the bottle.