A running game recap: Blue Jays 4, Phillies 2

6:51 - I’m currently watching something called “All Hail King Julien!” with my kids. It’s kid’s weekend after all right? I think it’s based off of a movie? Please come on soon, Phillies....

6:54 - It’s still on. Save me from this madness.

7:00 - Who makes a start time 7:07? Remember when, I think it was, the White Sox that signed a deal with Seven Eleven to have their starting times for home games 7:11? Wonder why that didn’t take off. Seriously. In this age of a sponsor slapping their name on literally anything inside a stadium, I can’t believe someone else hasn’t come up with an idea like that.

7:04 - Campaign commercials are starting already. Fantastic.

7:07 - Finally, game time. Ryan Borucki starting for the Blue Jays. I guess he got in late to this team as his jersey nameplate is still Borucki. Shame. Hey! A lead off single by Cesar Hernandez! Let’s hope it leads to something.

7:09 - Look at Asdrubel Cabrera’s bat. Is that a Venezuelan flag bat? Maybe it’ll help him get off to a better start.

7:10 - (Ron Howard voice) It didn’t.

7:10 - But hey, Wilson Ramos here to get a sacrifice fly. 1-0, Phillies.

7:14 - Aledmys Díaz with a nice play to get Maikel Franco, ending the inning. It’s almost time for The Snake. Which makes me think: how many pro athletes named Jake have used “The Snake” as a nickname? Jake Plummer. The wrestler. Arrieta? Are there others?

7:21 - A twelve pitch 1-2-3 first inning from Arrieta. Looks like he has the good stuff tonight.

7:22 - I’ve been thinking about something lately. With the current performance of athletes these days, why don’t more managers have a relief pitcher playing in the field and have him switch spots depending on matchups late in games? I know I railed against Kapler’s usage of Roman Quinn, but I wonder who would be the best candidate among the Phillies’ relievers. Methinks it wouldn’t be Tommy Hunter.

7:26 - ALERT THE AUTHORITIES! A SCOTT KINGERY HIT! AND A STOLEN BASE! Folks, mark this down: Kingery will be a 3-4 win player next year. #BeBold

7:28 - Maybe....don’t run on Kevin Pillar?

7:29 - Why are they reviewing this? Bad review, Kap.

7:32 - This umpire is all over the place. Someone is getting thrown out tonight. He’s given the low strikes and the high strikes. I’ve got 3/1 odds Santana is the one ejected.

7:35 - Arrieta serves up a home run to Kendrys Morales, tying it 1-1.

7:45 - Why aren’t the pants for this weekend the same colors as the shirts? Seems like a marketing misfire from MLB. Also, the Blue Jays’ uniforms for this weekend > the Phillies’ uniforms.

7:47 - Non-Phillies question: why didn’t the Reds trade Matt Harvey? Unless they are giving him an extension after the game tonight, not sending him to Milwaukee is a pretty big mistake. And teams wonder why they never compete.

7:51 - Two run home run by Billy McKinney. I’m really sorry about the earlier “Arrieta good stuff” comment. That ball was right down the middle of the plate. After three innings, 3-1, Blue Jays. Break time while I put the kids to bed.

8:08 - I’m back. That lousy bear Courdoroy really should learn keep his button where it belongs. Anyway, at least I’m back to in time to actually see that balk. Of course, the one from the other night with the Dodgers was a balk. Anyone saying they can’t see it is blind.

8:11 - THAT is a nice play by Cabrera. I see that Hoskins also flashing leather this inning. And who says this team can’t play defense? Still 3-1 Blue Jays after four.

8:14 - While Kingery bats here, let’s check in on the Braves. <fires up MLB At Bat> Hm, 0-0 after 3 ¹⁄₂ innings while the Marlins have no hits. Cool, cool. THE BRAVES ARE THROWING A NO-HITTER! (Let’s see if that works)

8:17 - I know everyone wants to displace Odubel Herrera with Roman Quinn (single up the middle), but I like him right where he’s at. Fourth outfielder, weapon off the bench, gets 10-12 at bats a week. That’s perfect for him right now. But personally, I think Herrera gives this team a better chance to win this year. As I say that, Hernandez singles, putting a man on first and second for Hoskins, one out. I feel runs happening....

8:22 - Turds.

8:24 - Double turds.

8:25 - I don’t like how this game is shaping up. Besides, isn’t it Borucki’s bedtime? Dude looks like he’s about 14 years old out there.

8:26 - At least the Marlins got a hit. And the lead! Go Fish.

8:27 - Yeah, Arrieta is having command issues again. He’s leaving a lot of pitches over the plate. That double by Díaz was scalded.

8:30 - Another hard hit ball, this time by Lourdes Gurriel, scores Díaz, making it 4-1. As this happens (and Díaz scores easily), Ben Davis questions why the third base coach sent the runner. “Well, there’s nobody out Tom...” I mean, the guy just scored standing up and you’re wondering why he was sent? Have you seen the arm on Hoskins?

8:34 - A groundball hit to the second base spot....fielded by the shifted shortstop...for only one out instead of an inning ending double play. I can already feel the hot takes on Twitter.

8:38 - Arrieta gets Morales to end the inning. Still 4-1 in favor of the Blue Jays.

8:39 - More non-Phillies thoughts: who is the National League MVP? I know John Stolnis thinks Aaron Nola should be in the discussion, but I just don’t see it yet. Right now, I’d go 1) Matt Carpenter, 2) Paul Goldschmidt, 3) Javier Baez. Of course, someone could win it who isn’t there right now. My darkhorse candidate: Ronald Acuña. I really, really wish the Phillies had Acuña.

8:44 - I’ll say it: Carlos Santana has been a massive disappointment this year. Still like the signing, and I think he’s added value by helping Franco, but even if he gets really hot in September, he’s been pretty disappointing overall. Pop up by Franco and Borucki continues to look like a Cy Young candidate.

8:47 - What’s on Netflix?

8:50 - Thank you, Randal Grichuk, for running the bases tonight blindfolded. After another great play by Cabrera at third, they move to the seventh with the Blue Jays still up 4-1.

8:53 - BORUCKI IS STILL AWAKE? Get this man a Four Loko or else he’ll fall asleep on the mound!

8:55 - In all honesty, Ben, Troy Tulowitzki hasn’t done anything baseball related in a few years.

8:56 - A SCOTT KINGERY HOME RUN!!!!!! That’ll finish Borucki’s night. 4-2, Blue Jays. Still only one out in the seventh. I feel a comeback a’brewin’.....

9:00 - Hello three hits from Cesar. Now make it hurt, Big Fella.

9:02 - Or don’t.

9:03 - You’re still here? You know what else is? Michael Barkann’s blue glasses. Yup.

9:06 - Arrieta done after 6+ with men on first and second and no one out. I mean, he wasn’t that bad tonight. Yes, he made two mistakes and those mistakes were punished, but he gave his team a chance to win it. They just aren’t hitting the ball so far. There are still two innings left, but still. They haven’t hit. Hector Neris in to pitch.

9:14 - Whoever fixed Hector Neris? Thank you. Struck out the side with some nasty stuff. The way he’s throwing right now, do you trust him yet with the closer’s spot? That’s a type of question for Christopher Walken.

9:15 - “Deer Hunter” anyone?

9:15 - I’m sorry....

9:22 - sigh...............................

9:25 - Luis Avilán making his Phillies debut. Always liked the guy. Death on lefties. Should be a better option down the stretch than Adam Morgan or Aaron Loup. And like the good LOOFY he is, he’s done after one batter. Bring me Luis Garcia!

9:31 - Ken Giles warming up. Twitter should be fun. Let me remind you all that Giles is on his second organization, cursed out his manager on the mound during a pitching change, isn’t very good this year, and punched himself in the face. Even in the Astros’ postseason, Giles lost his job as closer. He was a disappointment there. The Phillies won the trade. Still 4-2 headed into the ninth inning.

9:37 - Odubel leads off with a single. Nick Williams pinch hitting for Kingery.

9:41 - Williams swings at ball four and grounds into a force out. One out and Quinn up.

9:43 - Giles has balked at least three times this inning by not stopping at the belt. Would be nice if someone would see that.

9:45 - Quinn walks, men on first and second, one out. Great at bat there. Hernandez up.

9:47 - And that’s a bad at bat by Hernandez. Poor pitch recognition by him. Rhys is the final hope.

9:50 - I can’t watch......

9:51 - That’s not a strike.

9:51 - As I said earlier, this umpire was all over the place. Should Hoskins have swung at that close of a pitch? Maybe. But the 1-1 pitch earlier was a better one the umpire called a ball. He was bad, but again the ineptitude of this offense with runners in scoring position was their downfall tonight. Final score: 4-2, Blue Jays.

9:53 - Go Marlins.