Time for another Phillies game, everyone! Let’s get started!
::opens mouth, angry roaring noise comes out::
Uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. Let me try again.
::opens mouth, angry swarm of bees fly out::
I don’t know why this is happening. This is so embarrassing.
::opens mouth, recording of “O Fortuna” from Carmia Burana starts playing::
Maybe this is happening because the Phillies are a CRAZY RIDICULOUS MESS AND FOLLOWING THEM SOMETIMES FEELS LIKE FOLLOWING A PATH DIRECTLY TO HELL.
If we’re going to hell, we might as well look at the lineup.
Go. Win. Or not. At this point, I’m at peace with aaaaahahahaha that’s a total lie, I’ll hate it if they lose. I can’t quit this team. It’s a sickness.
Discuss the game in the comments below.