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BREAKING: Philadelphia preemptively signs Baby Bryce to lifelong contract

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Harper announces child arrival, Phillies take advantage and lock the kid up — for life.

Photo via @Kayyharper8 on Twitter

The Phillies announced on Monday that the club has preemptively signed the spawn of Bryce Harper to a life-time deal, sources tell The Good Phight.

...Okay, April Fools.

But, do you want to know what’s not a joke? Bryce and Kayla Harper are pregnant, and the baby is due during the regular season!

Kayla announced the news via Twitter this afternoon:

Minutes after Kayla’s tweet went live, Bryce took to Instagram himself, and announced the news there, as well:

View this post on Instagram

Philly raised little man will be! #BabyHarper

A post shared by Bryce Harper (@bryceharper3) on

Phillies twitter was set aflame with congratulations for the couple, and rightfully so. The two have been running rampant of late — and I’m sure sharing this news lifts quite the weight off of their shoulders.

So, what can we expect from the son of Philly’s Favorite? Well, it’s a common trope in Major League Baseball that all new fathers are bestowed with some newfound strength, and, in Bryce’s case, that kind of enhancement could be earth-shattering.

So, consider this one big congratulations from we at The Good Phight to the Harper Clan. May the arrival of this child bring upon an onslaught of cuteness-overload content, including but not limited to:

  • Adorable shenanigans with Rhys Hoskins’ golden retriever, Rookie.
  • Playdates with Steel McCutchen, as well as the other kids of the team.
  • Heart-warming GIFs of our favorite baby cheering on his Dad.

We all thought that Bryce Harper himself would be the poster child of Philadelphia — but something tells me this little nugget is going to be quick to steal the spotlight from his father.