As you’ve likely heard by now, Bryce Harper exploded into a cloud of furious dust last night and will be unavailable to the Phillies for the remainder of his 13-year contract. Dylan Cozens has been recalled from Lehigh Valley.
No, but the Phillies lost last night to the Mets thanks in part to the team being largely depleted by injury and then additionally depleted by Harper’s ejection by the umpire, who didn’t like it when Harper loudly and accurately suggested that his strike zone was broken. Today will be different, though! By which I mean, you know; it could be different.