Game Thread 6/22: Marlins at Phillies

Hey look, we all love the Phillies, and we all love baseball. But let’s not act like this team deserves your eye balls right now. It’s a summer weekend! If you have something better to do—which I assure you, you do—maybe go do that, just for tonight. This isn’t a call to boycott—I’VE BEEN A DIEHARD FAN SINCE 1897 AND I WOULD NEVER yeah yeah we’re all fans with too many hours logged watching these jabronis, plug your heart machine back in—just a reminder that if you leave, it’s still early enough in the season that the Phillies will still be there when you get back. They scrapped a thing or two together—Scott Kingery, stealing home last night, weeeee—but this team has made itself not quite unwatchable, but not worthy of being watched for a night or two.

That being said, here’s the game thread for those watching. May god have mercy on your soul.