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Hitting fish with a barrel: Phillies 13, Marlins 6

Oh my god, they did it. They beat the Marlins.

Philadelphia Phillies v Miami Marlins Photo by Eric Espada/Getty Images

The Phillies managed to do the impossible on Sunday: Win a g** d*** baseball game against the last place Miami Marlins.

Sure, the Marlins almost had a .500 record over the past month. But they’ve beaten nobody else in the division with the vigor and consistency with which they’ve hammered the Phillies. Having already swept the Phillies earlier this month, the Marins took advantage of a mostly-melted Philadelphia bullpen and a finally productive Brian Anderson to shut them down once again in games one and two of this series, meaning the Phillies had to bother to show up for the finale in order to avoid the stain of two straight sweeps by a National League laughingstock.

Which, they did. Thankfully. Jean Segura, Bryce Harper, and Cesar Hernandez each had three-hit days, with Harper and Brad Miller each going deep to contribute to the 13-run eruption. The Phillies scored two runs in a disastrous inning for Marlins catcher (and old pal) Jorge Alfaro that included interference, two players on one base, and Alfaro getting slapped in the face. Jake Arrieta went six innings, giving up his trademark four runs and eight hits, striking out six, and walking one. A somewhat steadier affair than a typical Arrieta start, but nothing to make you think this team has much of anyone to believe in in its rotation.

It was a solid, necessary win—but the only one in three chances against a deeply beatable team, with the Braves on the horizon. This team hasn’t dominated a strong opponent in weeks, and has not provided a consistent reason to think that they could. It’s time to either reset expectations or make some serious adjustments.